Guys' Guide to Gifts for their Gals

Wanted to write this post for some time but never got down to it til now. I know that February & March is a stressful season for my hubby in the area of gift-giving... Valentine's Day, my birthday then our wedding anniversary all in the span of a little over a month. The fact that he IS stressed is already very sweet. :* So, this post is pretty much dedicated to him to help him ease that stress whenever this season comes by. This guide may not be effective for all women out there unless they are the same species as me...hehehe.  the problem with women is, no two are exactly the same. Yes, we are complicated. :p I will only cover 4 occasions; Valentines, Birthdays, Anniversaries and Christmas. All gifts should be planned ahead, it shows sincerity and effort. The monetary value of the gift is insignificant.

Valentine's Day

A day I suspect marketeers of the Floral and Chocolate industry probably created to boost sales. But thankfully, hubby has never been a victim of this marketing ploy... coz erm, I don't like flowers and I don't like chocolates. I'm weird as chocolates will end up expiring in my fridge, even the best kind. For this non-personal commercially created day, the gift need not be very personal but should be something romantic that both persons can enjoy. Eg. sexy lingerie on a bed with rose-petals and aromatherapy candles lit up, or a night in a hotel with a big jacuzzi for 2, etc. Get the picture? Anyway, since this is just a commercial holiday, we have decided to take responsibility for planning it alternate-yearly.

Birthday

This is her day. It's all about her and her alone. This gift should be something she has been eyeing for weeks or months. The longer she has been looking for it without finding it, the better the effect of the gift. It should not be something practical, not a need. It should be something she wants. Go stalk her computer for stuff she left in her favourite online shop's "shopping-cart" or stalk her facebook for any wall conversations with her girlfriends about stuff she is looking for. Or call her bestie or sister. In this case, stalking is a good thing. 

Anniversary

This is a celebration of your union. This is the significant day when 2 became 1. Like Valentine's Day, it should also be a gift that both persons can enjoy. But unlike Valentine's Day, this day is personal... it is close to the heart and it is only significant and important to the 2 of you. So, just like the day, the gift must be personal... something both of you share. Eg. a vacation to the place you had your honeymoon, a class learning about something you are both passionate about, reenact your wedding proposal, etc.

Christmas

This is the easiest, as this is not a personal holiday or a romantic one. It where you give presents to all the human beings close to you; mother, father, sister, best friend, church mates, etc etc and of course your partner. So, this gift can be practically anything... for me, it would be anything practical. I hate receiving generic gifts like photo-frames and paper-weights which is why I refrain from being involved in any gift-exchange activities. I think it is a waste of the Earth's resources. At least those secret santa / secret guardian angel type of activities will have everyone ending up with gifts they can actually use.

I hope this helps to eliminate the need for mind-reading and alleviate the pain of gift-planning for hubbies out there! =)

Mission is-possible!!

Matt 5:14 “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.

Last week, 7 of us from the YAds team, Revival Centre went to Kampong Speu, Cambodia for a mission-trip. It is a rural village area about 1 1/2 hours out of Phnom Penh. I was both an eye-opener as well as an amazing miracle for me. We had many series of activities with classes for children and youth, and even conducting church service for their local church.

We stayed in a small guest house out in the main road of Kampong Speu where there is water and electricity supply. I guess us stupid pampered city folks won't survive without electricity & water-supply I suppose?? But we didnt try, and there were no guest houses inside the villages anyway. The main road area has electricity but it was out one of the nights we were there.
Anyway, guess what I saw outside our guesthouse everyday??

pergi jauh-jauh oso nampak Abbott trucks hahaha

The trip was eye-opening because:

1. In some of the villages, there is no water or electricity supply... they use kerosene lamps and waters from the well. They are very simple people but very appreciative of life.

Now THIS, is a real kampong... unlike Kampung Pandan or Kampung Baru

2. Some of the people are so poor there, a lot malnutrition happens. You can see small little kids who have pale blondish hair, whom did not achieve that look by dying their hair... it's lack of nutrients. Meat is also a luxury, when you order beef noodle, you will get noodles & cow spare parts. When you order nasi goreng ayam, you will get nasi goreng tulang-ayam. But I must say, they cook well... the taste is not bad at all.

cow spare-part curry wt bread

3. Small small kids are super duper independent. As young as 6 would walk or cycle >10km by themselves to class. There was one kid in one of our class who had to carry her baby sister to class, babysitting I suppose... she herself could not be more than 6yrs old!!! Yet, they are still so appreciative and thankful for everything they have or get.

the village children playing games & doing artwork (photo courtesy of Li Chan)

4. Many people do not get education because of the need to come out and work to support their family. Also, their education system is pretty corrupted causing their value of their degree to be next to nothing, unrcognized degrees, unrecognized universities... unfair for those who truly studied and worked hard to obtain their degrees. Sad. We had communication breakdowns whenever our interpreter was not with us, our request for cut chillies came out as a plate of sliced pork =.="

5. Pastor Kala (our contact there) answered God's calling 6 years ago to come here as a fulltime missionary... all alone!! She gave up all the comforts of Malaysia to be there to start teaching & do many community projects. Thanks to her, many of the youths in her classes can speak English, do simple Math & budgeting, know about caring for their health, and much much more! You can straightaway see the difference between those whose lives were touched by the missionaries and those whose lives were not. Hats off and total respect & admiration to Pastor Kala's selflessness and sacrifice. We visiting missionaries may be there to teach for a few days, a few weeks or even a few months... but it is her commitment and dedication that keeps all the programs running continuously, developing the people in Kampong Speu.

The church in Kandaldom

The trip was an amazing miracle because:

1. The water supply was unclean & Pastor Kala & our Cambodian interpreter, Vuthy warned us not to consume ice for fear of typhoid and cholera. But because it was the hottest season there right now!! (That's why not many visiting missionaries this season) We all cannot tahan the heat & thus, did not comply. Thanks for all our home-church people praying for us, we were protected. None of us got sick at all!! And we ate all the food just off the street-stalls and definitely had lotsa ice. hehehe

Matahari super terik gila!! Hot and dusty!

2. Many ad-hoc requests came up for session we did not plan. I had to conduct a vocal / music lesson completely impromptu!! Eeeeeeks!!! Takutnya. Yes, I know I can sing and play piano or whatever, but I am a lousy teacher. A really lousy one. But the feedback for my class was so positive. I even conducted an altar-call, me, erm... not exactly Miss examplary-Christian, conducting an altar call?? Erm... weird but people responded. Phew!! Just commit to what God ask you to do and He will give you the strength, skills and everything to do it well!! I know I should't have been afraid but hey, I am human too k?

Teacher Yee Huey... kekekeke ;-) (photo courtesy of Li Chan)

3. Testimonies from the locals... how this cute teenager was almost dead from dengue who was saved eventually, how someone was protected from dangerous accidents, etc etc. These super simple people with so many un-met needs... actually feel THANKFUL. So, Malaysians, if we are complaining, shame on us! We have so much more!

All in all, it was a wonderful trip... it was even wayyy way better than my first trip to Cambodia which was for touring purpose only. I think I gained a lot more from a giving-trip than a receiving-trip. Praise the Lord!! I can't stop sharing about my experience since the day I got back... starting with my parents as they picked me up from LCCT. hehehe. Would I go back there again to teach? Absolutely! ^_^

Shout with Joy to the Lord, all the earth!

Happy Birthday to me!

It's is my birthday!! My 34th birthday to be exact. yes, thirty-freaking-four! I feel like such a dinosaur.

This is going to be the year of discovery. Yes, I have arrived at that funny little milestone called the "mid-life crisis". I only plan to live to about 60++ so, yes... 34 is mid-life by my standards. I really can't wait for my 1-year sabbatical from the corporate world.

Is now too late for me to take an entirely new path for my career?? I have heard of people who had the courage to take the path less traveled after walking the "normal" path for a while. People like Linora Low and Mynn Lee who gave up their day-jobs when their inner entertainer / arts practitioner could no longer be suppressed. Now, they are both successful at what they do which is a cocktail of stuff related to the entertainment and arts such as radio-DJing, acting, producing...etc etc. Cool kan?? :) But both of them were definitely much younger than I am now when they decided to switch paths. How would an over-the-hill actress fare then?? My very first audition this year, and I was already told that I am not young enough to play the lead character... and too young to play the supporting roles since those were moms of the leads. @.@

This year, is my year of self exploration... exploring what excites me, inspires me, what drives me, and what keeps me going ... in or out of the arts. If things work out, I will be juggling the arts and my second passion (which I hope pays more than theatre kekeke) forever. If things do not work out, you will see me crawling back to the boring 'ol corporate world.

All the best to me... to the over-the-hill, 34 year-old, mid-life crisis ridden... but still-acts-like-21... one-and-only ME!!! Happy birthday!!

I am far far away.... weeeeee

Unconditional love ;-)

It's Valentine's Day... hubs is gonna be home late so am still lepaking around awaiting him to burst through the door for our big fat Valentine's kiss! While today, most people would talk about love between a man and a woman, I am gonna talk about the strange unconditional love people have for their pets. With your partner, your kids, your parents... you have certain expectations from them even if you love them to bits, true?

With pets, do we have expectations?? 

Lo and behold!! Notice the horrendous state of my couch and cushions??

"you're never here anyway, this is OUR couch... meow"

"what???? prrrr prrrr"

And what do I do if I ever catch them red handed in their destructive activities? I unleash the wrath of....

...

...

...

...

...

the lean mean... squirty bottle!!

They too have their secret weapon... they unleash....

"mew"

"mew"

... THE FACE. You melt, and think "Holes in the couch ain't so bad. Gives the house a new-age I-don't-give-a-damn-artiste motif, don't you think??" I love my kittehs, and the love for someone/something that can do nothing for you... is unconditional love. Meow! Happy Valentine's Day!! ;-)

Take your passion, make it happen

The minute I announced that I wanted to take a year off for a sabbatical... I get "attacked" right, left, centre by people who try to recruit me into MLM or other MLM-esque businesses offering the promise of passive income. (Hmm, if it's so passive why are they actively recruiting me then? =.=") Passive Income... is the ultimate dream of many people I know. Free-flow of money... effortless, and you can spend your days in a "tai-tai"-esque manner in spas, cafes, travelling to exotic places without having to worry about money. It's the ultimate dream isn't it? The dream to have no needs, no stress, nothing to strive for.

However, for me... passion and obsession is an important ingredient in my happiness. Yes, I would love passive income but I still thrive on wanting something badly and working my ass off to obtain it. For me stressless-ness and having nothing to strive for, is like having nothing to look forward to. The loss of purpose and drive... boredom. I love the feeling of wanting something badly, and I love the feeling of getting that thing I want badly, even more. If I do not have anything I want badly, how can I get that thrill of getting the thing I want badly?? Confused yet?? ;-)

During this sabbatical, I would like to tryout everything and anything that I have always wanted to but was afraid to, did not have the chance to or does not pay the bills. I am an avid believer that passion is what drives excellence. If you love to do something so much that you would do it for free, you will do such a good job that people will pay you to do it... makes sense?

Work or play??

Recently got to know about The Zhariff Initiative through Ellyne (whom also runs an awesome & amazing business herself ^.^). I guess in the last couple of years or so, I started to realize that life or your career need not be desk-bound from 9 - 5 in order to survive in this world. Businesses have evolved into something much much more meaningful than just profits and losses. It is amazing how people are creative enough to marry practicality and their passion rather than trying to juggle both at the expense of rest like what I had been doing.

What this company does, is a dream for lil' miss schizophrenia here... a cocktail of the arts, business & making a meaningful impact in society. What more can I ask for?? One of their uber cool project is this, RockCorps... will let the video speak for itself:

Is it cool or what?? There's more cool stuff up their sleeves. The founder himself, Zhariff Afandi is a walking talking inspiration with endless energy.

I'd really really like to give this a try but the timing is just not right. I still want 1 year sabbatical; to try anything & everything I've ever wanted, to cross off some of my silly wishlist like busk in NYC wt my ukulele, write a musical or just get a lead role in a musical...etc. This is more of a permanent position, & I doubt this opportunity will still be here waiting for me 1 year down the road. Or could this work end up feeling like play?? Or be the beginning of a new passion? Anyway, they're probably still interviewing heaps more people. Let's see where destiny leads me.... ^_^

Sisterly Reminiscence: Part 2

I don't usually do sequel posts but my last post really unleashed so many old memories that were weird but truly truly awesome beyond words. I just realize how wild our imagination was as kids. I don't have as good a memory as my sister so she remembered all this crazy stuff I imagined up!

1. After watching an episode of Bionic Woman about female robots called Fembots replacing humans, I imagined up our own Fembot lab where we too kidnap people & replace them with Fembots. We could monitor what the Fembots were doing through the monitors. So, detailed, siap dengan mini fire extinguisher in d lab. kakakaka

2. Another imaginary place I dreamt up. We were witches living in a scary castle surrounded by a bloody moat. It even rained blood! Indoors & outdoors also I drew!!

3. This is a drawing of our home's living room. Even the cushion cover patterns are exactly like this. The 2 heads sticking out from the couch are my sis & me. Sis said that I wrote a whole essay for this photo but I can't remember what I wrote.

4. This is one of the many "Be Bo Ba Bo" pages in my book. I invented that term for free-scribbles pages. Hahahah

5. And kiddy essays I wrote, the Malay one is about a Magic Coffin that can bring dead things back to life. (I think I must have been very fascinated with all things sci-fi, fantasy and the paranormal since little). The English one was about a boy my mom used to babysit whom I really hated. hahahah.

One conclusion is, I was one crazily imaginative child!!! But that was what made our childhood so interesting. We didn't have the luxury of travelling, having computers or other canggih stuff and had never even flown on a plane. How else can we have our adventures but in our minds?? In the end, I think our adventures were way more interesting, wouldn't you say??

Sisterly Reminiscence

Just had dinner at parent's place again tonight. And we kinda brought up this old memory of me & sis cycling to the nearby kedai runcit to get my mom some onions when I was 12. We got chased by a couple of dogs (actually I remember they were only few months old puppies heheh) and I cycled soooo fast with my sis behind me that I lost control and cycled into a tree. Of course all the onions terpelanting all over the grass & the bicycle front wheel was bent. It was one of those old-school bicycles with a basket in front. How cool was that?

In this day & age, children no longer have the entire neighbourhood as their playground. Most are confined to their homes with their Macbooks, Ipads and Wii. Parents too, welcome this confinement due to rising crimes of kidnapping or human trafficking. They too have the opportunity to travel the world and see what other parts of the world is like.

Although we had never had a computer or traveled anywhere as children, I am so thankful for my awesome childhood... because entertainment & adventure was not provided to us, we used our imagination to dream up these sources of entertainment & adventure. I could never have had such an awesome one had I not have a little sister to share it with. It wouldn't be at all fun to do any of these things alone. Some things we did:

1. Before we slept, we'd have our imaginary adventures we called "kongabout". We'd set the premise of the adventure, then go along the adventure together through a conversation + narrative. Sometimes it is a different premise every night but at times it is a continuation of the story the day before. We'd continue until 1 of us gets too sleepy to talk or fall asleep.

2. We'd record ourselves singing, in harmony... sometimes to the piano, sometimes a-capella.

3. We even recorded ourselves acting in short stories where the characters in the story are ourselves & our cousins. (I know its weird but I'd give the world to find those cassettes again)

4. We'd go back to Penang during the year end school holidays. Occasionally we would also buy cute animal shaped Eden cakes and lepak at Youth Park or at the Botanical Gardens where we get to see the monkeys.

5. We'd go to our uncle's bungalow where we could swim, and can play hide & seek for hours coz the house was so huge, you can hardly find anyone. We'd even climb up his tall fences to go curi-curi play with his neighbour's fluffy white dog.

6. We'd make glutinous rice balls together with mom during Winter Solstice & see who can make the tiniest balls.

7. I remembered we even built "tents" with our blankets in our bedroom to have our pretend camp-out sessions.

8. We played batu seremban & getah at school, we were both excellent at it!!

9. We'd play with stray kittens together and get scolded for dirtying our hands with their germs.

10. Even as we got older, we performed in the school choir together. We were in the same schools in both primary & secondary school.

11. We have a singing group together called Karla Ryka, then changed to Dejavu, then changed to Citadel. The 2 of us and our friend Kim. We'd walk to school on Saturday mornings while we sing in harmony the whole half-hour walk there. We performed in our school's talentshow, other school's talentshows & even got through 1st round of Asia Bagus.

12. We'd stay back after school together just to lepak with friends, & even played in the mud in our school field.

Good times... Awesome kan? =)

Blood is thicker than water

During this festivity where reunions are customary in this part of the universe, all the generations gather together and this is where this inter-generational conflict is most prominent. Your family; you love them... but you don't necessary like them all the time. They have their own ideals in life; financially, culturally and everything else. And the worst part is, the "I have eaten more salt than you've eaten rice" line. I am sure that they have good intentions behind all those expectations... but what is ideal for them may not be ideal for me. I have never neglected my daughterly duties to them, be it excelling through my studies, financial support, regular visits, running small errands eg. computer related stuff, or even bring them to the hospital if they do not feel well. I live 25 mins away, and am there for them. My sister even more so, as she lives with them. She even spares the time to go on vacations with them. But none of that is ever enough for them & they will not hesitate to voice their dissatisfactions. I really do not understand.

We still love them though... not just because the Bible tells us to but honestly, we still do. In my sister's words, "I just syiok sendiri treat them nice coz they don't seem to think that is nice anyway." and "You just angry sendiri coz mom bukan main proud lagi that she told you off about some CNY customs.". I guess we'll each continue to syiok sendiri then. Do things that we think, other'd appreciate. Whether they do or not... doesn't matter coz everyone has their own good intentions behind it.

Putting myself in their shoes, I am sure as a parent I too, would have expectations for my kids. No human is capable of real unconditional love, only God is capable of that. Would I behave like them if my kids don't meet my expectations?? Well, I guess I will never know... Because I have long decided not to have kids. I do not think I can handle more than 1 inter-generational conflict. I have come to accept the reality that parents and kids grow up in very different times and will always have different mindsets no matter what.

In this festive season, let us learn to accept each other's differences and come to the Reunion Table with sincere happiness that will manifest itself in smiles. After all, blood is thicker than water. =)

Gong Xi Fa Chai!! Happy Reunion!!

Of Sabbaticals

Why don't most companies in Asia offer sabbatical leaves? I know of many European companies who practice this. I guess quality of life or work-life balance is more valued in that region & we have not quite caught up with them in that area. We all know the wonderful benefits of a sabbatical for the employee. 

There are many benefits to the company as well. Let me point out a few:

1. It is an un-paid vacation anyway & incurs minimal cost to the company. This benefit will position the company as a champion of work-life balance... this will attract young talents. Whether they take it or not, it is there as a option.

2. It trains employees to work in teams, share their knowledge & expertise, rotate their roles with their peers so that in case 1 of them applies for a sabbatical, the entire team can still function effectively although slightly stretched without one of their team-mate. It reduces parasitic dependence on 1 person. 

3. Benefit #2 extends to a situation when there is a resignation in the team. Recruitment process can take anything from 3 months to a year depending on what is the position to be filled and what profile of recruit you are looking for. With team-mates that can easily swap roles and do each other's work or share out the additional work; you have the luxury of time to look for the best fitted candidate or the luxury of changing the job function to fit a candidate you like.

4. The same also applies should the company want to send a high performing employee for a year-long overseas assignment/attachment.

5. It allow recuperation time for employees to recharge by doing what they love, be it just spending time with their children, learn up dancing or write a book. This recuperation time will prevent professional burnout and improve attrition rates especially for the middle to top management levels; which are most expensive to lose, recruit & train.

6. It allows the employee to develop themselves at their own cost in other areas outside their main job function that they most interested in eg; take up psychology or counseling diplomas which may help them do a better job as a manager or coach upon returning to their job. 

7. It trains their employees to be financially savvy and disciplined because it take a high level of both in order to have the financial resources to be able to afford a year-long sabbatical. 

Since I am working in this part of the world, I have no choice but to resign in order to take a sabbatical... at my own risk of unemployment 1 year down the road. But I am ready to take that risk. The benefits far outweighs the risk.

In a couple of months time... I will be on MY sabbatical. I can't wait!!! =)