Picture Perfect

Have you ever awaken in the morning with the feeling that you have the best life in the world? That there isn't a single thing you want to change? That you are happy, contented and feel so thankful to God for everything you could cry? That your life is picture perfect!

I have. I had it for a whole year! I am very fortunate. (or unfortunate maybe?) Because that blissful feeling is etched so deeply in your soul that you will remember it for life. And going back to imperfection feels wrong. Now what can I do to fix this imperfection and make it picture perfect again?

Having a picture perfect life is different for everyone.
For me it's; more time with God, more time with hubby, more time for family, more time for arts, more time for friends, more time for my cats, more fulfilling social or community work & more meaning to life.

Picture perfect indeed 

Is it worth it?

Just had lunch with my favourite headhunter yesterday. I've never gotten a job through her before but we just clicked as friends due to our shared values in life.

One of the topic that came up was what makes what we do worth it?? For some people, it could be the money they are paid for it. For others, it could be the recognition from the company or from society. It could be anything. But looking at the horrible attrition rates these days, I guess nobody feels that anything is worth it.

For me? I'm idealistic, not naive but idealistic. I don't believe that the everyone is good, but I believe there is good in everyone. So, although I am measured by numbers, paid by numbers, recognized by numbers... what makes it worth it for me is not numbers. I truly want to make a difference and give patients better lives and I have to believe that that is what the doctors want too. And in attaining that, the numbers will come in as more patients are given that better life. Working with customers towards an idealistic wholesome cause that binds us together somehow. That is what makes it worth it for me.

But 2 months out of my sabbatical and I feel so drained. I feel so uninspired. I feel that everyone in the organization does not believe that same ideal. Maybe the whole world does not believe that same ideal. That business can only be done by the conventional "I scratch your back, you scratch mine" model.

I can't just go through the motions if I don't believe what I do can make any difference. How then can I make this worth it for little ol' me who refuse to burst her idealistic bubble?

Life's a Poach

It's funny how people only want other people's things. How guys like to steal other people's girlfriends... how girls like to date other people's husband... and in my case, how companies only call me for a job AFTER I have gotten one.

As you can see from my blog, my journey of job-hunting started around November 2012. I had gone for numerous interviews. I had been sending out resumes to so many companies I felt like a fresh-graduate again. It was a super humbling experience to be rejected so many times. I felt that my industry was never going to take me back. I was even contemplating running off to China in search of products to bring back and start my own business.

Then I started my new job;
- A company I have been dying to work for calls me up for an interview... I had emailed them in December and they did reply there was a vacancy but never called me for an interview. Why now?
- A headhunter calls me up at my office because all he knew was I was working for Novartis.
- Another headhunter who interviewed me at great length last year who never bothered to follow up suddenly followed up.
- And another headhunter who knows me well, calls me for a position higher than my current one yet still in the job-function I like... in a disease I have always wanted to do but never had the chance.

Why these opportunities don't come when I was jobless?
Why only poach me now that I am employed?

No wonder attrition rates are so bad, headhunters are tempting working people to jump ship because attrition is what makes their industry boom. They are not here to find us a job, they are here to poach us from our current employers. It's a good thing for us employees I guess. But I am still saying no to all so far... but I wonder how long more can I fend off such tempation???

In the news again!!!

Here was our first coverage from the press conference... 15th March 2013 in The Star: Metro

Read the original article by clicking here.

An Unexpected Pressing Matter

13th March 2013, yesterday was the Press Conference for The Unexpected Guest (TUG) at Hilton Petaling Jaya. Press turnout was pretty good, considering we really could not afford to spoil the press in this event since we are a non-profit org. :-)

Details of the event are as below:

Joshua Lee, the Programme Director of StART Society said  “Although we are not an events company, we always like to push the envelope and be pioneers or innovators of events such as the Xtramile Run in 2011 which was the first of its kind in Malaysia. Hopefully, by exercising our creativity, we can inspire the kids under our tutelage that anything and everything is possible if we play it to our strengths and passions,” He also added that the children will be performing during this dinner, firstly to showcase their talents and what they have learnt at StART Society... and secondly, to make the dinner seem as close to a normal fundraiser as possible in the beginning and establish that the stage is the stage and the audience is the audience, before the lines are completely blurred later in the night.

Freddy Tan, the drama director and me, the writer were excitedly describing the drama while being cautious not to reveal too much that it may spoil the fun and surprise. Freddy described how the actors will be trained and be rehearing differently from a conventional theatre play... to stay in character and expect the unexpected for this drama. They would be trained to feed on the audiences diversions and misdirection and use it in the drama, or re-divert them back to fit into the story. Earlier this week, Freddy was also asked on Capital FM 88.9 if he is nervous about directing something that is a new concept. Freddy said "Yes, it will definitely give me sleepless nights. But it's because of that, the challenge of doing something new and experimental... that I want to do this!"

I was asked where did my inspiration came from. I said "I grew up addicted to mystery and crime investigation novels such as Nancy Drew, Hardy Boys, Agatha Christie... then in more recent years, I am a big follower of crime TV series such as CSI. My favourite is Criminal Minds as I find human behaviour is the most interesting element in the investigation as compared to just physical scientific evidence. So, expect a lot of elements of human relationships and behavioural elements in The Unexpected Guest!"

Asha Gill (our TUG emcee) asked "If a guest were to voluntarily drink the "poisoned drink" that killed one of the actors, then play dead... how would the actors react?" Freddy answered that he would definitely welcome such involvement and engagement from the audience. He said that he liked the script because it has a lot of room to play around the plot as there are many things happening simultaneously. So, additional back-stories can always be worked into the story whenever the audiences participate in the story. I added that whoever wants to play dead, has to play dead the rest of the night! :p

After the press conference, we had a Food Tasting session at the Hilton Petaling Jaya to sample what will be served on the event day... scrumptious stuff.

Get your tickets fast as the big corporations are snapping them up by the table. ;-) For ticket purchase, please contact StART Society at: 03 7954 5423 | 016 336 8185 | startsociety.info@gmail.com.

Of arrows & bullseyes

Just signed my offer letter todayyy!!!! Whheeeeee!!!

At the tail-end of my artsy sabbatical, I began my jobhunt in Jan 2013. With numerous recruitment firms mushrooming in this region, I had no choice but had many encounters with these middlemen. I've only met one or two really professional ones who thoroughly do their homework on the client, the industry as well as on the candidates... I'm strictly sticking to those few only from now on.

Unfortunately, majority are just looking for a quick buck approaching candidates just to obtain as many arrows as possible to shoot randomly at the targets which is their client... hoping that one, will hit the the bullseye. I've even had one who submitted my name to the client after I had declined to do so, even without my CV. Collect, collect, collect.... shoot, shoot, shoot.

The client

They'd approach the candidates... entice them with money, fancy titles and  name-drop a few big companies in the relevant industry to get them on the hook. Then plonk the candidates' credentials in their own standard templates. Then line them all up and present to their client. If the client is in AAA industry, looking for a BBB position to fill... they'd make sure their line up are all from AAA industry, currently a BBB for their current employer. So, every single candidate will look like the right fit. Arrows are launched... if each candidate has a 10% chance of hitting and they have 10 candidates, statistically it's 100% chance in securing that commission, right?

How they perceive and present the candidates

Wrong! In reality, every candidate is different... they have different interests, strengths & weaknesses, ambitions and motivations. Not every candidate are just looking for a way out of their current frustrations and would settle for anything and everything just for a couple of hundred bucks raise. Especially not the good ones. The good ones, want to continue to challenge themselves, learn new things, venture out of their comfort zones or seek a job in their area of passion. I have a friend who's an excellent marketeer in pharmaceuticals who tried to venture into FMCG or consumer industry, and a friend who's an excellent sales/marketing person in medical devices eager to venture into commercial training. They are both great candidates, but they were stuck in the old rut for ages because these headhunters do not want the hassle to fight for or promote the candidates that are different from that standard template they have.

What candidates are actually like

As for me, I am an even more abnormal candidate; idealistic, passionate but has super specific interests, struggling (but surviving) artist... who's looking for a corporate job. I'm a species they have never represented and do not know how to sell to their clients. I have but only gotten a direct interview with the client via a headhunter once, in my entire lifetime. Once! The odds are against me. :(

Me

I've only gotten interviews through people I have previously worked with, they are such a blessing! ♥ Unlike headhunters who are armed with a gazillion arrows, I only have one arrow. Abnormal as I may be, I can only shoot this one arrow. I have but one chance with each target so I must choose and aim very very carefully. With my super specific interest in marketing of chronic diseases, it makes my target even more nanoscopic and harder to hit. Statistically, I am a disaster, right?

Miraculously, after several attempts and much tenacity, I have hit the bullseye: marketing, chronic-disease, emotionally compelling, for a good cause, and a boss who accepts my passion in theatre!! To throw in a bonus, the office is less 10km from my house, church & cellgroup! Praise God!!! Whheeeeeeeee!!!! :)

The only teeny weeny thing I am totally unhappy about is that the headhunter who submitted my CV for a completely different position some months ago, who never followed up with me or the client on anything... for months. But will be getting a commission for my joining the company. My friend who referred me, who actually did all the follow up for me, will get zilch. Just because my CV from the headhunter reached them first. Sad :-( I shall treat him a big makan when I see him instead.

I am thankful to those who have faith in me, and is willing to take a risk on this abnormal arrow. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! I look forward to my return to corporate, all refueled, recharged and reinspired!!! Looking forward to next month. :D :D

On Air

Tune in to Capital FM 88.9 from 7.45am onwards on Monday, 11th March 2013:

I will be On Air, for the very first time. Exciting stuff, hehehe. Will be promoting our super awesome fundraising event: The Unexpected Guest. Get to meet celebrity DJ Xandria Ooi. And see the super awesome girl power radio station, where ma favourite colour pink is in, out and all around!! LIKE!!!

Tune in ya? Jangan tak tune in ;-)

The Non-Profit Way of Life

The beauty of having a super diversified life is that whenever you feel down about 1 part of your life, you still have other stuff to bring you up!!! In life, look hard enough and you'll find things to be thankful for. (It's also true on the flipside, look hard enough for negativity and grouses, you'll find it too.)

These last few months as StART has been the best training ground to build the sense of gratitude. In a non-profit organization, you learn that in profit-making organizations, you have wayyyyy tooo much to be thankful for. But it is that heightened sense of entitlement that hinders people from seeing the blessings in their lives.

In a non-profit organization, you depend on the kindness, favour and generosity of others to get things done. You cannot afford to just buy services, things and favours because you have little means and resources. For example, my baby: The Unexpected Guest.

my maiden CSR project!

Writing it was the easiest part because I get to do that myself without having to be at the mercy of others. It was after the writing, the challenges started.

Look for a venue sponsor > > Set a tentative date for event > > Look for a director and a team of cast (for free) > > Venue sponsors pull out > > Look for new venue sponsor > > New venue available on new date > > Revert to director and cast > > Team cannot make it on the new date > >  Look for new director and cast > > Arrange rehearsals > > Do PR and marketing > > Find sponsors > > Invite important influential people > > Sponsors agree to help > > Accommodate sponsors' requests > > > > > > > > > > > 

Yes, it is overwhelming... truly like trying to eat a whole cow!!

In profit-making organizations, they always say you cannot please everyone... but here... erm, you really kind of have to please everyone. Remember, they are not obligated to help you in any way.

Another important learning is that, "if you don't ask, the answer is always no." You can and should never ever judge a person's kindness or generousity before approaching them. That's the non-profit philosophy of muka-tembok-ism. ;-) Seeking sponsors, inviting press/media and inviting VVIP guests... all require this handy little philosophy. 

I hope she comes!! fingers & toes crossed! :) :)

Thankfully, after all the craziness... we now have The Star and Hot Magazine as our official media partner, gadget freebies & loans from Samsung, data-lines from Maxis, partial venue sponsorship from PJ Hilton, our marketing material design & printing from Tang's Art, a whole bunch of volunteers, and more exciting stuff from kind & generous folks from all walks of life. How bout that to be thankful for?? Exciting no?? :) :) :)

Next week, is the press conference... wish me luck!! @.@

Rock, paper, scissors

Just followed up on a job I really wanted this morning, although not finalized, the sub-text (yes, benefits of being in acting, you are better at reading human emotions: sub-text, intention, etc ;) ) of the phone conversation feels like that I could be their second choice. I guess if Miss First Choice accepts, I'm out. :( I have not followed up on my first offer; although lucrative, is not a chronic disease, not a long-term treatment, not emotionally compelling.

Spoke to my sis about it...and she said what if, just what if... this first choice girl is the second choice for my first offer company and is awaiting that company to offer her, that company is waiting for me to answer before offering her, I am waiting for this company to answer me, and this company is waiting for her to accept them?? Confused yet? Rock, paper, scissors... life is a cycle and everything is connected. Hahaha!! Unlikely to be the situation but it would be funny if it were true. Yes, creativity runs in the family. ;)

Ok, jokes aside... is it a big problem that I have too specific an interest? Specialty chronic disease + emotionally compelling + marketing. Not all companies have such disease treatment, and among those, not all have emotionally compelling strategic directions, and the few left which do, may not have openings for marketing. Bleh. I'm just wondering, IS having a specific passion such a bad thing?? Wouldn't a person who wants something so badly appreciate it more and do a better job? Or does the world view this intense passion as desperation? If I was desperate, I would have just applied to any Tom, Dick & Harry company, in any Tom, Dick & Harry disease (gosh, that doesn't even make any sense). I would have accepted my first offer just to get a job, any job. But I don't want just any job. :( :(

Maybe the universe is trying to tell me something? Maybe God is trying to tell me something?? May be I should open up my options beyond my area of interest?? But I can't help but to want what I want and love what I love. But should I?

Perhaps, some day I will understand why all this is happening... Just like what Steve Jobs said

“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.”

Dots oh, dots! Please • connect • yourselves • soon •

Hit the ground running!

Finally, I have registered for the 2013 Standard Chartered KL Marathon!!!!

Mampus... some crazy voice inside my head told me to do that and I don't know why I listened. I already have knee problems and I have just turned 35. If I live to 70, this is exactly midpoint. Yes, may be that crazy voice in my head has a name: mid-life crisis. First, I took an artsy sabbatical, now I wanna run 42.195 kilometres around KL.

While I'm at it... I might as well give myself a reason behind this crazy torturous journey. Please help me motivate myself by supporting The National Autism Society of Malaysia by going to my Runner's Profile page. Ta-da!!

Then, please click on this nice big blue "donate" button on that Runner's Profile page to donate:

Registration and the motivation behind it are just the beginning of the torture journey... now comes the training.

The crazy training calendar

I've already gotten a headstart and pre-train before I flag-off my training.
Week -2: total 7.5 km only.
Week -1: total 22 km only.

Next week will be Week 1... when the sweat, tears and blood begins! Look on the bright side, at least I can eat mother-loads of carbs and not get fat. ;-)

I'd better hit the ground running, wish me luck & support my cause!!!! :D :D