The triviality of eating vegetables

Source: www.gimmesomeoven.com

Last week, we organized a Christmas party for an NGO I am volunteering in since the beginning of this year which reaches out to women in crisis (homelessness, prostitution, domestic abuse or human trafficking victims). While we were planning for the event, I noticed the menu only had rice, mee hoon, meat and eggs. So, being the health-freak I am, I exclaimed “How can we not have any vegetables?” to the volunteers like it was so important. So, I offered to cook the vegetable dish so that everyone will get a well-rounded nutrition for the party.

At the party, as I flitted from woman to woman to hear their stories, I hear of someone losing a daughter, homelessness, going hungry, unemployment and many more. I have heard their stories, but somehow, I needed to hear them again to realize that the things we fortunate people find significant, are irrelevant to these people. Our first world problems are completely trivial when your basic needs like shelter and food are not even met. These women are not even rural folks, but people who originated from places such as Bangsar, Kampung Kerinchi, and other parts right smack in the middle of urban Kuala Lumpur. How can we be so ignorant to think that the majority are like us? If you draw a binomial curve, the middle big bump would not be us. We are at that small tail of the curve, we are extremely privileged. A good life has changed what matters to us such as health, job satisfaction, vacations or downtime, work-life balance, and many more. We have become shallow and have completely out of touch with the urban poor, and even more so, the rural folks. Worse still, we deem them shallow when they change jobs for RM100 more or accept polical campaign benefits to vote for a particular party. Do we even realize how significant RM100 is? It is 35.7kgs of rice. It is 282 eggs. It is 14 meals at an inexpensive restaurant. It is 18L of milk. (Source: Numbeo.com) But to me, it is 6 cups of my favourite caramel macchiato. I am a shallow, privileged brat.

As I watched them finish up my mixed vegetables; a glorious traffic lights coloured concoction of nutrition burst of capsicum, broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, baby-corn, I am contented that everyone had a balanced meal even if it did not matter to them. Food is food, not going hungry is good. I hope and I pray someday, I can help at least one… just one of these women care about eating her recommended daily allowance of 4.5 portions of vegetables. It would be considered a little victory because I would know that her basic needs are already taken care of, that she has a roof over her head, a job, clothes on her back, food in her fridge... that she can be free to think of things like, eating her vegetables.

A dream is a wish your heart makes

A dream is a wish your heart makes, when you're fast asleep. ~Cinderella~

As much as I love my Disney, fairy-tale idealism will not get us anywhere. Journeying through our inaugural dance piece for Short+Sweet Dance Penang "Everyday Carry" has forced me to think of a motivation for my character. A character, very much like my real life, carries the daily responsibilities and routines with her; a life that is normal, which is fine, not exactly miserable or difficult... but yet her heart longs for something else, dreams of something else.

But how many of us truly takes action to get there? And how many just accepts life as it is?

This little poster shall be my daily mantra... to drive me to do the current as best I can, so that I can pave the way to the future I desire. Every little step forward cherished, every milestone, celebrated.

I started working in 2002, took a sabbatical in 2012. Started working back in 2013, so, the next sabbatical is due 2023, right? Will it last longer this time? Will I be able to go back to work when I need to? Let's shush these stupid questions from our heads and just work towards it anyway.

2023: that shall be my target date. Time to stop procrastinating, and turn my dreams, into goals, into plans, into actions... until they are final... true. 

Dreams do come true. ;-)

Bewitching Ba'kelalan

Recently, I went on an unconventional vacation with my sister in law, Hilda to a quaint little rural village in Sarawak called Ba'kelalan. Where? It is about a 40min flight south of Lawas, close to the Kalimantan border in the beautiful bewitching land of Borneo. Most people mistook that we were there for a mission trip or some kind of social work... because well, who would go to a place with nothing for a vacation? Vacations are supposed to be about self-pampering and why would you go where there is no phone or internet connection, wonky electricity supply, no hot baths, and terrible road conditions? There is a remarkable reason why everybody should go on these vacations. It gives you a different perspective of your life, outside your cushy city comforts. It was an eye-opening adventure for both of us city-girls.

Helpful and kind people

We had to layover one night in Miri to catch the connecting flight to Ba'kelalan. When we arrived in Miri nearing midnight, we bumped into a mutual friend, Calvin at the airport picking up his guest. As we walked out into the darkness to find our hotel, we sort of got disoriented and did not know how to get there. Calvin, who was still waiting for his guest, helped to drop us off at our hotel, Miritrail Inn. There was no receptionist there except for a number to call. When I called them ... Alas! The place was full and they disregarded our booking. He then hung up on me and switched the phone off as I was unable to call him back after that. We were left stranded without a place to sleep and decided to sleep at the airport. The night shift guard, Mr Bujang told us it was not a 24hour airport and they are locking up. We told him we had nowhere to go. He then offered to drive us to another hotel nearby, YS Inn, turns out it was full as well. We wanted to give up hope and told Mr Bujang we will just sleep outside the airport  but he refused to give up. He said that outside the airport is full of mosquitoes and it will not be pleasant. He drove us even further out to look for another hotel. Hallelujah! There was a vacant room! Thanks to the kindness of a total stranger, we had a place to sleep. We thanked him profusely and offered to host him whenever he goes to KL and exchanged phone numbers.

Journey to the village

The next day, we boarded our little MASWing plane and had to transit in Lawas enroute to Ba'kelalan. We could see the vast green mountains and plains below us.

 These little chickies were travelling with us in the pla

ne

Upon arrival in Ba'kelalan, our friendly host, Carolyn and her husband Paulus was there to pick us up. We arrived at the same time as 2 of her other guests, Rick and Sham, who were teachers from an international school. We boarded Paulus's 4-wheel pick-up truck, and made our way through the rough terrains. This road was built several years ago by the army, not a very good job I must say. The worst road in KL cannot even compare to the bumpiness of this journey. Both Hilda and I got car-sick by the time we arrived at Carolyn and Paulus's home.

The holey road

Our abode, the home of Carolyn, Paullus, and Aunty Rose

Kampung Long Rusu

 
Mini-adventures in the mountains
Even from the very first day, we had the opportunity to experience the simple and natural life out in the village. Rick, Sham and myself followed Aunty Rose out to the riverbank to pick while Paku-Pakis for our dinner. Hilda was too sick from the car-ride to join us. Dinner was wonderful, we had our harvest stir fried.

The next day, we went on walks around Ba'kelalan. We went to the salt springs where they harvest the mountain spring salt-water to manufacture their own salt. It is said to be rich in minerals and is not just sodium like our mass produced table salts, therefore is healthier. The village people claims it to be tastier too and would never use regular table salt in their cooking. I bought 1 kg for only RM20, a very nominal price considering how much effort goes into its production.

Boiling the salt water with natural wood, takes up to 24 hours to get the salt crystals. A lot of work for RM20/kg of salt

The salt springs

If you think the grass is professionally cut, think again. The nice short uniformly cut grass is naturally cut, by the buffaloes in the village. The buffaloes are pretty good gardeners, I must say.

We also hiked up a small mountain to get to the viewpoint. There are several viewpoints in Bakelalan and there was a new trail which was only a week old but we were a little less adventurous so we chose the tried and test trail. The view from the top was no less magnificent.

The view from the top

Appreciate the little things
In the city, we have grown to take the little things for granted. Warm showers, phone reception, internet, electricity, and many many more. Here, we showered in icy cold water in the morning, which is a superb wake-up catalyst. There is 1 water-heater in the house, it is considered a luxury in the kampung.

I remember sharing an anecdote about my cat, Orked who hates fish and refused her Omega Oil supplement. The kids here do not even get such supplements. And the dogs here? They live free as a bird, eating organic food, and have never bathed. Yet they do not smell bad and have beautiful coats. Nature is a great caregiver.

Kampung dogs, hardy and resourceful... They have 12 of them.

Most of the people in the village are farmers. There are not many vocations available here and people are content to be able to work, provide for their families and live a simple life.

The paddy fields of Bakelalan

Peace be upon you
Carolyn's father in law told us, in the city there is no day or night but in the village, there is a clear day and a clear night to differentiate when we work and when we rest. Indeed it peaceful in the village. Even in a foreign place, in a foreign bed, I slept much better than I did at home. I suppose we do not realize the implication of all the light and noise in the city until we have experienced real peace and darkness.

Sometimes the beauty of nature is best appreciated, not captured. The sheer darkness of the village really brought out the beauty of the starry sky. They shone like diamonds in the sky. I tried capturing it with my phone camera... lo and behold, nothingness. I ended up just staring up at the sky and appreciating it using my eyes instead of my electronics.

I rest my case 

Everyone knows everyone
Every time we walked around the village, if we bump into any locals, they would stop to get to know us and offer us a free ride. Simply because, everyone knows everyone here and they really take the effort to know even the new people that arrive here. The safety and the trust level here is truly unheard of in the city. Everyone is hospitable and helpful. Such a wonderful culture!

We can already feel that warmth of human connection within the home we were staying in. Aunty Rose, Carolyn and Paulus are always humble, down-to-earth, helpful and hospitable too. They made us feel like family.  

Aunty Rose flanked by Hilda and I

The lovely couple who hosted us, Paulus and Carolyn

Right before we left the Ba'kelalan, at the airport, we met a man from Kuala Lumpur, Andy, whom like our host, is married to a local in Ba'kelalan and commutes to and fro every month. He said, "To appreciate the city, you need a place like Ba'kelalan and to appreciate the Ba'kelalan, you need a place like the city."

Indeed. Experiencing both worlds does magnify your gratitude and helps you appreciate everything in life more. Would I come back again? Most definitely!

Resolutions; A Revolution Against Routine

I know most people think that resolutions are pointless, but I believe that we should set targets not just for work but for our personal lives too. If we do not, the busyness of life will just push us around like a fierce river current to whatever direction it goes. Not having a target will not give us the motivation and discipline to swim purposefully with all our might against the current to reach your target. Often times, it is not as hard as we think. A few strokes later, you could find yourself reaching a riverbank of your aim. Take control of your life and do not let life take control of you.

This year, it will be about making connections and enriching myself. I shall set my SMART goals for each item. Deadline is 31st Dec 2016.

1. More often than not, we only spend time with the people we have daily contact with out of busyness or necessity: colleagues, church-mates, nucleus family, etc. This year, I am making it a point to have face-to-face catch-ups with friends who have drifted to become acquaintances or merely FB friends because I no longer have daily contact with. Target: One friend per month. One caveat is that I cannot do it at the expense of time with the people closest to my life.
2. Esya: The Musical, was a heart-wrenching story of a young rural girl tricked into prostitution and was trapped. Performing in it has got me thinking about the people who fall into the path of social ills: prostitution, drugs-abuse, crime, etc. Instead of shunning them and judging them, I want to look deeper and try to understand. Usually, it is their circumstances, their desperation that drives them to the path of being the predators or victims of these social ills. Nobody is born evil. There is a background story to each and every one of them. I picked up an co-written autobiography or memoir of a Thai prostitute when I was there for a holiday: Miss Bangkok by Bua Boonmee & Nicola Pierce. Reading it, she had so much in common with Esya! This year I aim to do two things out of the Esya experience: First Target: Read 1 book per month, autobiography books of people involved in social ills either as the predator or the victim. No fiction allowed. Second Target: Volunteer at 1 NGO this year, one that rehabilitates people who made the brave decision to get out of a social ill.
3. Start writing again, to share about the things I read, my life, my work, my experiences or observations, or anything else that strikes me, I have stopped writing and my blog has been reduced to a cheap and ineffective medium to promote my art. I need to revive it and really write again. No rants or complaints allowed. Target: One post per month.
4. The last time I seriously studied was for my MBA. This year, I aim to study again. I would love to attend a class or workshop in person but I could not find any in this region on the topics I seek. There is nothing like peer-to-peer face-to-face learning. However, I shall make a realistic demand of myself and allow self-study courses online. I have already found one that I will begin later this month: Health In Numbers. Target: Complete 2 courses this year.

I too, will continue what I started last year be it in personal health and fitness, or going eco-friendlier.

That is a lot to do in one year. So, I better get started swimming against the current!

Thank yous for 2014

I have adopted this habit from my younger sister to count blessings at the end of every year. I did it on FB only to realize some of the people I want to thank are not there, hence here.

I think it is a very good habit. We always read inspirational quotes that tell us to count our blessings but literally listing it out on cyberspace, is far more practical than just thinking about it after reading the inspirational quotes. That way, we can always revisit the post and bring in the silver linings whenever we face the daily challenges, stresses and annoyances throughout our lives as we always do as human beings. A little dose of gratitude, goes a long loooong way. 

1. I thank God for healing me of dengue after a horrible episode of prolonged decline in platelets, endless vomiting, high fever and chills. I thought that I would never pull out of it because I could not nourish myself to fight it. As those who know me would know, I am always over-confident of my strong immunity. Never in my life have I ever been admitted to a hospital for anything! Yet this time, I felt so helpless and weak. I thank all the people who cared for me while I was at my worst; my parents, my husband Alvin, my sister Yee Wean, my bestfriend Hazel, my cell-leader Elizabeth, my pastor Pr Lee Choo, my MTAS gang Mei Wei, Cindee, Vinsky, etc, my cellgroup Ee Vonn, Wendy & Patrick, my new colleague Christine, ... for being there for me in person. Every little bit of care and concern means the world to me! And thank you to those who couldn't be there but sent forth your wishes and prayers too! Nothing in modern medicine or technology could've healed me more than the cares of the people close to me. There is afterall no cure for dengue. I have never been more thankful to be alive, or to be able to sleep in my own bed, or to be able to eat without vomiting after.
2. I thank God for the Short + Sweet journey this year with my hubby Alvin. It seems that whenever we collaborate, amazing things happen. We are better together than apart as S+S proves it. ;) I thank Ross for taking our "baby" to great heights and putting our vision into action!! Thanks to Shen for making the music sound superb!! Love it!! I thank the entire team from 300 Million: A Reconceptualization of Conception and A Woman At War for a memorable journey and for the endless commitment put in.
3. I thank God for saving my dad's life after the horrifying heart-attack in April while both my sister and myself were abroad. It was a shock to us seeing how healthy and fit he is for his age. He's fitter than some 30year-olds I know! It really taught us how temporary our lives are in this world and nobody is immune to sickness or death and not take health for granted. It taught us to appreciate what truly matters in life and not just the passing distractions. I am just super glad and thankful I still have time to spend with both my parents and my entire family is still whole.
4. I thank God for my husband Alvin, who stands by me through thick and thin... and walks all my crazy journeys with me; be it in the arts, in ministry, in life, this year... in sickness and in health. Thank you for making me laugh even when I can't manage a smile. Thank you for walking all our journeys together that deepens our understanding of each other's lives; we can talk about the stuff we go through to each other and really really relate!!
5. I thank God for the privilege to produce More Than A Show for SIBKL. Thanks for your faith in my Pr Lee Choo and Ronny. Although, I kinda failed you guys at the very last lap when I got dengue, you guys took over the baton so readily and willingly. I could never have done it without you. Thanks to Mei Wei, Zara, Alvin, Janet, Charmine, Cindee, and the entire cast and crew of MTAS for your endless commitment to make the show work. You guys are so awesome!!! I love you and miss you all... post-production syndrome. :( :( I am so ready and looking forward to 2015's Christmas Production!!
6. I thank God for opening up an opportunity for me in my career to venture out of my comfort zone in the world of the sick, into the big wide world of healthy people. It opened up my mind and my perspective of the way business or marketing is done. It gave me the opportunity to learn the true art of influencing people through mass-communications, touching emotions from afar and a lot of room for creativity exploration. I can clearly see how this wider experience in creativity will add so much value back to the emotionally compelling world of niche chronic diseases, which is ultimately still my first love and I miss it!
7. I thank God for my sister, Yee Wean who shares my love for travelling... not-in-style. Whilst there are many people who crave luxuries while travelling, we share the same objective in travelling, just experiencing regular life in that place, eat their food, watch their people, see things and walk, a lot. Don't over-plan, and go with the flow... tripadvisor and googlemaps have not failed us. We don't need a tourguide. Our Italy trip was perfect that way!
8. I thank God for my best friend in the whole wide world, Hazel who is always there for me through everything and supports me in everything I do. And makes the time to spend with me even with her crazy travelling schedule. This year, we managed to make a trip together to Krabi and it was the most relaxing, agenda-less trip ever. It was super wonderful!! In the world of so much busy-ness, it is a luxury to be agenda-less. I hope to take more trips with you!
9. I thank God for the opportunity to serve in the SIBKL Creative Ministry as a Video Editor. I want to thank Wai Yan, Shu-Ling, Desmond and Mei Lee for being such patient and wonderful teachers that have unlocked a new skill in me as a video editor which gives me new perspectives to add on to my passion in the performing arts. Videos gives me a whole new basket of toys to play with in the performing arts and storytelling! Joining CM-Production team was initally just a trial as I had always been in the worship ministry all my life. But I am definitely here to stay. I love it here!!
10. For the new colleagues I meet in my new job in this new industry; I have never met someone so remarkable as you, Christine; super objective minded, responsible and genuine. I am thankful and honoured to be your peer. You have my utmost respect as a person and I hope to see you go way further in your career. I am thankful to have a well-united team; Jocelyn and Jeslyn; both whom I can always rely on and have a high sense of team-unity even in challenging times. I really appreciate the sisterhood feeling that you girls give me and make me look forward to come to work. I am also thankful for my boss, David whom has a wealth of experience and is never selfish to share and mentor. On of being a nice empathetic person, he still holds high standards, principles and work ethics in his leadership... usually a very difficult balance to strike. I also appreciate his immense respect for our work-life balance.

See, you don't even need to look very hard, there is just too many things to be thankful for. Cheers to 2015, and bring on more of life to be thankful for!!!

Reflections

Rain, solitude and free-time: A perfect recipe for reflections. 

Picture credit: The Darkroom - The Baltimore Sun

I just had a wonderful albeit stressful event over the weekend and I am relieved it is successful and it is over. I am thankful to have a united team that made it work although I still feel a bit like an outsider, like I don't belong. My boss and clients are happy and appreciative. So, I am having a nice quiet Monday-off today. No Monday blues can touch me today.
I have just celebrated my dad's 65th birthday over lunch with the whole family. He's recovering well after the cardiac fiasco in April, and he seems happier and less grumpy these days after the incident. I'm happy that he's happy. I'm glad my parents support and even help me prepare for my upcoming "I have a date with spring" callback auditions. It means the world when pragmatic Chinese parents support your artsy passion.
I just had my husband surprise-visit me at my event last Saturday night. And last night, we were discussing on how fragile love is and we both agree to continuously work to make our marriage as wonderful and magical as it is yesterday, today and forever during our family devotion time.

Everything in my life is wonderful at the moment. So, what is this poignant feeling I'm having? I suppose... artists emote, somehow it is part of our DNA. Oh, and of course, blame it on the rain.

Picture Perfect

Have you ever awaken in the morning with the feeling that you have the best life in the world? That there isn't a single thing you want to change? That you are happy, contented and feel so thankful to God for everything you could cry? That your life is picture perfect!

I have. I had it for a whole year! I am very fortunate. (or unfortunate maybe?) Because that blissful feeling is etched so deeply in your soul that you will remember it for life. And going back to imperfection feels wrong. Now what can I do to fix this imperfection and make it picture perfect again?

Having a picture perfect life is different for everyone.
For me it's; more time with God, more time with hubby, more time for family, more time for arts, more time for friends, more time for my cats, more fulfilling social or community work & more meaning to life.

Picture perfect indeed 

Is it worth it?

Just had lunch with my favourite headhunter yesterday. I've never gotten a job through her before but we just clicked as friends due to our shared values in life.

One of the topic that came up was what makes what we do worth it?? For some people, it could be the money they are paid for it. For others, it could be the recognition from the company or from society. It could be anything. But looking at the horrible attrition rates these days, I guess nobody feels that anything is worth it.

For me? I'm idealistic, not naive but idealistic. I don't believe that the everyone is good, but I believe there is good in everyone. So, although I am measured by numbers, paid by numbers, recognized by numbers... what makes it worth it for me is not numbers. I truly want to make a difference and give patients better lives and I have to believe that that is what the doctors want too. And in attaining that, the numbers will come in as more patients are given that better life. Working with customers towards an idealistic wholesome cause that binds us together somehow. That is what makes it worth it for me.

But 2 months out of my sabbatical and I feel so drained. I feel so uninspired. I feel that everyone in the organization does not believe that same ideal. Maybe the whole world does not believe that same ideal. That business can only be done by the conventional "I scratch your back, you scratch mine" model.

I can't just go through the motions if I don't believe what I do can make any difference. How then can I make this worth it for little ol' me who refuse to burst her idealistic bubble?

The Non-Profit Way of Life

The beauty of having a super diversified life is that whenever you feel down about 1 part of your life, you still have other stuff to bring you up!!! In life, look hard enough and you'll find things to be thankful for. (It's also true on the flipside, look hard enough for negativity and grouses, you'll find it too.)

These last few months as StART has been the best training ground to build the sense of gratitude. In a non-profit organization, you learn that in profit-making organizations, you have wayyyyy tooo much to be thankful for. But it is that heightened sense of entitlement that hinders people from seeing the blessings in their lives.

In a non-profit organization, you depend on the kindness, favour and generosity of others to get things done. You cannot afford to just buy services, things and favours because you have little means and resources. For example, my baby: The Unexpected Guest.

my maiden CSR project!

Writing it was the easiest part because I get to do that myself without having to be at the mercy of others. It was after the writing, the challenges started.

Look for a venue sponsor > > Set a tentative date for event > > Look for a director and a team of cast (for free) > > Venue sponsors pull out > > Look for new venue sponsor > > New venue available on new date > > Revert to director and cast > > Team cannot make it on the new date > >  Look for new director and cast > > Arrange rehearsals > > Do PR and marketing > > Find sponsors > > Invite important influential people > > Sponsors agree to help > > Accommodate sponsors' requests > > > > > > > > > > > 

Yes, it is overwhelming... truly like trying to eat a whole cow!!

In profit-making organizations, they always say you cannot please everyone... but here... erm, you really kind of have to please everyone. Remember, they are not obligated to help you in any way.

Another important learning is that, "if you don't ask, the answer is always no." You can and should never ever judge a person's kindness or generousity before approaching them. That's the non-profit philosophy of muka-tembok-ism. ;-) Seeking sponsors, inviting press/media and inviting VVIP guests... all require this handy little philosophy. 

I hope she comes!! fingers & toes crossed! :) :)

Thankfully, after all the craziness... we now have The Star and Hot Magazine as our official media partner, gadget freebies & loans from Samsung, data-lines from Maxis, partial venue sponsorship from PJ Hilton, our marketing material design & printing from Tang's Art, a whole bunch of volunteers, and more exciting stuff from kind & generous folks from all walks of life. How bout that to be thankful for?? Exciting no?? :) :) :)

Next week, is the press conference... wish me luck!! @.@

The Stamp Tramp

I just totally totally totally LOVE "How I Met Your Mother". I iz a BIG FAN!!! It's so hilarious in a really witty way. They really amplify things that happens in our day to day lives and make normal stuff so super uber lol rofl hilarious. Clever gilababs! An example from this season is the Stamp Tramp ie. Marshall. Who gives his stamp of approval to anything and everything because he is just too too nice. While Lily, only gives her approval Stamp if something is truly worth her Stamp.

Marshall giving himself an approval stamp ;)

In real life too we all have the Marshalls and the Lilys amongst our friends. As positive and nice the Marshalls are, in the end we trust the Lily Stamps more anyway.

Have you encountered a Stamp Tramp? I definitely have. But that story, deserves a whole post. ;)

For Good

As I embark on my job-hunt, these interviews really help you reflect. A popular question "What are some of your areas of improvement?" Nice way to say weaknesses... er, I am only human, sure plenty, kan??

I don't know about corporate flers, but art practitioners crave to get feedback. We'd open the newspapers the day after opening night to read reviews, we stay back after shows for our director's notes. Was our singing off pitch? Intentions unclear? Bad diction? The very next day, we will try our best to fix whatever comment the best we can, be extra vigilant on those areas of improvement.

Feeding on criticism, of course, can go beyond just the arts... if we would only endure the occasional burst of ego-bubble from critics with good intent, those who are honest enough and care enough to help us grow.

Critic 1: Anish

Remember how he got me to my cheese? Well, in the process of finding the cheese & all ... he too gave me 2 distinct criticisms that I can recall: I was too risk-averse & low sense of urgency. At the time, whatever ideas I had, stayed ideas in my head. "no guts to implement? maybe now is not the time yet? maybe I shouldn't fix what is not broken?" Yup, I was like that... but I tried to fix it. Not overnight but little by little, I got a bit braver, more adventurous, and as a result, I was much faster too. If you asked my team in my most recent job in Abbott, I was a feisty, gutsy, out-of-the-box, high sense of urgency person... & will drive them up the wall (or vice versa hehe) if they were conventional or slow. The biggest risk in my career? Taking this sabbatical to pursue the arts; Will I get back the kind of job I like? Can I start back where I left off? Or will I have to make sacrifices & rebuild my corporate reputation from scratch? I still keep Anish's whatsapp message "I know you'll do well, keep following your heart"!! :)

Critic 2: Ai-Hong

My favourite boss, mentor, friend in my entire corporate career. Her critique? You need to be more sharp with numbers. I was indeed quite often careless with numbers but she was super sharp & meticulous. I may have been a math-whiz way back in school but after graduation, after deciding to give an engineering career a miss, I got too lazy to practice it anymore. Use it or lose it. So, it was time to revive the engineer in me. I gotta check and recheck all my data constantly. Then guess what? A few years down the road, I got a distinction in my Finance module in my MBA. Finance! @.@ Sure boh? *blink hard hard* Look at my transcript again, yup! And most recently, I was offered a business analyst job. Huh? Miss artsy fartsy? An analyst? No lar... it's just a part of my mentor which was left behind in me, among all the other amazing stuff that she taught me.

Critic 3: Kerry-Ann

She was the first ever choreographer I had to work with, in my first every production back in 2009. The first person I ever knew who had a Bachelors Degree in Dance!! I remember struggling to understand what she wants... "you need to be in character! what does your character want? what does she feel?" Huh? I thought dancing meant, 5-6-7-8 step here, turn there, fling out an arm, turn to the right, etc etc. What's all this inside-out thing she's talking about? I didn't get her, she didn't get why I didn't get it. She shouted until I cried one day. But after that, little by little, I understood her a little more. Not entirely but just a little more each day. Eh, eh... she stopped shouting. "Now we're getting somewhere" was probably in both our minds. In the end, the choreography was what stole the show. Suddenly I was enlightened that dance, was way beyond what was just physical and mechanical. We've been great friends ever since!

Critic 4: Kai Loon

My very first epic musical, first time having a serious role, first time working with Dama Orchestra. Nerves and anxiety got the best of me. During rehearsals, Kai Loon repeatedly said that I kept looking "lost" on stage, my intentions either unclear or complete blank. Yikes! First production with them, I really really didn't want to screw things up. I tried & I tried, but to no avail... he still repeated I looked lost. Lost? What did that even mean? I wanted to badly to do well and I didn't know what to do about it... I just woke up one morning & cried to hubby. Then I asked for a private rehearsal session with Kai Loon, I wrote down my sub-texts for every single phrase spoken while I was on stage. Went through each and every scene with him. Finally, progress. Yippee! After every nights performance, he would email us his super long and detailed director's notes in the wee hours of the morning. I keep refreshing my gmail... refresh, refresh, until I fell asleep. First thing I do when my phone alarm-clock goes off in the morning, refresh gmail! Everyday, each performance, I dread to see in my email "Lady Liu looks lost"... but opening night, don't have, 2nd show, don't have, 5th show, none, 10th show, still none, 20th, none, none, none. Yayyy!!!!!

God know I still have more stuff to work on... am definitely not gonna publish them here on a public blog. :p Well, God sends help in the form of other people to slap me into realization. Sometimes I just can't see these things myself & need people in my life to be my third-eye.

This song below is dedicated to all you people in my life ♫ ♬ "who has helped me most to grow, ♫ because I knew you, ♩ I have been changed... for good"♬ ♩.

I am eternally grateful to you... I love you guys!! Hugz! =) 

Passion and Purpose

As we are approaching the finale of the Everworld journey, I am beginning to feel the post-production syndrome... a tad early but that sad feeling of love-and-lost has begun. Tears well up in my eyes just thinking about 26th Dec when it's all over. :-(...

I reflect back on all the productions I have ever been in. ALWAYS without fail, I get that post-production syndrome, missing the people, missing the journey, missing the entire emotional attachment to the production.  Were any of the productions perfect? The people, the process, the resources, the everything... was any of it so perfectly flawless that we miss being in that perfect team, perfect job, perfect atmosphere?

Nope! Far from it. There are always things that you love and things that frustrates you to the bone in every single journey. Every single journey has its ups and downs. Yet we do it again & again & love it!

What makes a theatre production different from a corporate project? Why then don't we miss our corporate projects, processes and colleagues so much that we get all emotional and tearry-eyed when a project ends? They are all projects right? They involve living breathing human beings, right? They all involve a journey right?

There are probably more but I have zoomed down to just 2 distinctive differences:

One - Purpose

In corporate, the people involved in each project have their own goals. They are using the project as a stepping stone to reach those goals. Very rarely does a person's own goals matches the organization's fancy schmancy vision.

In a theatre production, everyone just wants to put on a good show. 1 lousy actor or 1 lousy sound engineer can ruin the entire show causing bad ticket sales, bad reviews, oh the humiliation! So, people help each other to ensure they achieve their "selfish" goals of putting on a good show.

Two - Passion

In corporate, some of the people are doing it in exchange for something (money, status, sense of stability, etc). Of course there are some who are truly passionate about the cause or the work but the majority are there because they are exchanging their time and efforts for something. They more miserable they feel about their job, the more they feel "entitled" to more rewards. It's about the rewards, not the work or the cause itself.

In theatre, there is no money, no fame, nothing else to gain but to put on a show. You don't get billboards in your name or appear on a silver screen. You do theatre because, well... you love doing theatre. The doing itself IS the reward.

But of course in all cases there are an exception or two but the team's vibe is driven by the majority.

I'm just using theatre because I am a theatre-pratitioner but I am sure there are other examples out there with that common passion and purpose such as working for an NGO or professional sports or an orchestra or so forth. But wouldn't it be wonderful to find a company with a bunch of people with that common passion and purpose?? Where people love what they do or love the cause behind it.  I'm still looking... Let's see how it goes. :-)

How to Eat A Whole Cow

How now brown cow?

How do you eat a whole cow?? You cut it into parts of digestible size, and eat it part by part of course. You can have rendang beef today, BBQ beef ribs tomorrow, and steak the next day. Before you know it, you will be down to Oxtail soup and you're done!

It is the same thing with when you are given any big task. You break it down into smaller parts and take it one part at a time.

We usually get overwhelmed by the size of the cow task. Then wallow in self-pity or complain over how unreasonable it is to eat a cow do the task. By the time we finish lamenting, we could have used it to finish up 2 pieces of steak parts of the task. Just calmly break it down, count our resources (BBQ sauce? Curry spices? ;)) and take it one part at a time. In fact, when it is in small parts, we will actually enjoy it.

Task 1: You need to finish your MBA dissertation. 26,000 words plus loads of surveys and analysis prior to the 26,000 words. Same thing, Breathe in, breathe out. Break it down. Just do it one part at a time. Before you know it, done!! Graduation time! Wheeeee!

Task 2: You are asked to prepare analyze a gazillion files of numbers & numbers & numbers, prepare 50 worksheets and 100 slides, x 2 slide-decks!! Aaarrggghh! Die, die, no?? No. Just look through all the resources you have... how much time? Anyone else around who can be of help? Break it down to smaller, more digestible parts, do it one part at a time. Before you know it, eh?? Done. Huh? That was it?? Easy peasy.

Task 2: You need to do from scratch; a murder investigation story plot, come up with real clues, misleading clues, background stories, characters, possible audience reaction and interaction scenarios, write the script, plan the timeline, conduction auditions, find a bunch of talented actors willing to work for free, direct, rehearsals, stage the whole thing & raise funds for a good cause....Aaaaargggghhh... I am but a mere actress, never have I ever done this before in my life!! Right, right??? Let's see, I already had rendang beef, and the sirloin steak. I think I shall have some BBQ beef ribs today. No sign of Oxtail soup yet, but I am sure I'll get there if I don't stop at BBQ beef ribs. ^_^

Feed or starve, the choice is yours

Plutchik-Wheel of emotions

Emotions:

- A strong feeling deriving from one’s circumstances, mood, or relationships with others. (Oxford Dictionary)

- The affective aspect of consciousness / a state of feeling / a conscious mental reaction (as anger or fear) subjectively experienced as strong feeling usually directed toward a specific object and typically accompanied by physiological and behavioral changes in the body. (Merriam-Webster Dictionary)

- A discrete and consistent responses to internal or external events which have a particular significance for the organism. (Wikipedia)

- A natural instinctive state of mind deriving from one's circumstances, mood, or relationships with others. (Google Dictionary)

Can we control them? Some people think we actors have on-off switches to turn on whatever emotions we want. It's not really that simple. Lots of preparation goes before we can achieve those emotions on stage.

I don't think that I can control my emotions. However, I've realized a neat little trick. An emotion is very much like a living thing. It can grow bigger and stronger or it can get weaker and even die. So, just like a living thing, you can either feed it and make it grow or starve it and let it die. We can definitely control our actions of feeding or starving it.

Eg. I have a crush on a colleague. Butterflies in stomach, hearts-a-fluttering crush. Then I feed the crush... stalk his Facebook page (this part is fictitious... we didn't have Facebook yet at that time, otherwise I would've FB-stalked him :P). It grows. 

Feed it some more... we go on a date. It grows even more.

He proposes. It grows even bigger. 

We do up our house together. Growing, growing...

We plan the wedding together. Big big growth.

We discover a new passion together. Perform in theatre together. It grows even bigger. and bigger and bigger and bigger. We write a musical together...and we keep feeding and it keeps growing and growing and growing. Wheeeeee!!! But in this case, it is 2 people feeding it.

or

Eg. I have a crush on a colleague. Butterflies in stomach, hearts-a-fluttering crush. Then I feed the crush... stalk his Facebook page. It grows. I go back to life as normal. I rationalize since he was in Penang, I was in KL... it's geographically impractical right? Starved it. It weakens. Stop contacting him, only see him infrequently during meetings. Starve it. It weakens even more. I resigned from the organization and no longer see him even infrequently. It dies off. Habis cerita. Choose this option if your colleague is unavailable of course. hehehe. 

You can also feed a negative emotion and make yourself totally unhappy or starve it and snap out of it in due time. 

Eg. I am annoyed with my boss because he was rude due to a bad day. I feed it and complain to my colleague about him. It grows. Another colleague gossips about him about his work ethics, I add to her gossip by telling her about him being rude. More feeding. It grows. I feel to lazy to go to work and press snooze on my alarm 10x causing me to be late to work. I curse the traffic jam. Feeding, growing . I could not finish my work because I was late and had to stayback late and cancel my drinking night out with the girls. I curse the workload. Feeding, growing. In my bad mood, I was rude to a customer. The customer throws tantrum at me. It grows. I post a frustrated FB status and 100 friends "Like" it. It grew soooo big that I so hate this job, I shall resign ASAP!! Even my friends agree, right?? 

Do I end up happy even after many others justified my annoyance?? And yet, I've been guilty of feeding negative emotions before, many times.

or

I am annoyed with my boss because he was rude due to a bad day. I starve it and just do what he asked and quickly email to him so that he won't bother me. It weakens. Another colleague gossips about him and his work ethics, I just avoid her and go for lunch with other colleagues. It weakens more. The next day, ask boss out for lunch, chit-chat and found out his maid ran away yesterday and stole his family's stuff. Oh, no wonder bad mood. It dies off. No longer annoyed at boss or at job. Ta-da!

So, I promise myself if I have positive emotions... I shall consciously feed it, regularly. Just like feeding my cats, twice a day. heheh. And if I have negative emotions, I shall consciously remind myself to starve it, starve it till it dies. For me, I have a tendency to feed ALL emotions good or bad. @.@

So, I do have an on-off switch after all... no wonder I'm an actress. ;) ;)

Long live creativity!

"Picasso once said that all children are born artists. The trick is to remain an artist as we grow up. I believe this passionately: We don't grow into creativity; we grow out of it." ~ Sir Ken Robinson ~

Love the story about Gillian Lynne. Do watch the whole video... he makes so much sense. If you're more of a reader, go here to read the entire transcript.

I don't ever ever ever want to grow out of creativity.... EVER!!! ;-)

Checking off!!

In a blink of an eye, it has been more than 4 months since I left the rat-race. With any kind of time-off... if your not careful, you may end up lazing around without getting anything done, without figuring anything out. I thank God, I have had the opportunity to do A LOT of what I had set out to:

1st vacation with Mom ☑

We went to Taipei & spent some good mother-daughter quality time together. Never had the opportunity to it before due to time constraints. It was always my sister who accompanies my mom on her travels, because she is a teacher with loads of time off work.

Watch Broadway Musicals in NYC  ☑

I had the opportunity to catch the 3 multiple Tony Award winning Broadway shows: War Horse, The Book of Mormons and Once. And OMG, Broadway was superb!!! I really really hope someday our performance arts industry will reach that level... and I hope that someday is within my lifetime. ;-)

Visit Sui Poh in Boston ☑

Something I had wanted to do since Sui Poh moved to the states 8 years ago. The girl I spent most of my teenage and university days with... flew off and started a new life in the states. I miss her like crazy, and I miss her even more now that we got reacquainted during my visit. I do hope to pay her more visits... but I don't have the money for many US trips AND a 1 year sabbatical. hahah

Wrote a Musical ☑

Co-wrote and co-composed The GeongXi is a Vamp with hubby... eastern culture meets western culture, and vampires. And we got an AWESOME team of directors, musical director, make-up guy and actors to stage it. If you are going to watch it at the Short and Sweet Musical Festival this year on 26 - 29th Sept @klpac, please vote for Musical #6!! ;-) I am so excited to see it come to life!! Which will probably be on video only... unfortunately, I will be performing next door at the same time... and will not be able to watch it live. Sobs!!

Cast in a Dama Production ☑

This is the reason I cannot watch my own musical. I am performing in Empress Wu: The Musical... an epic story of the rise of Lady Wu to become the first ruling Empress of China. The ups and downs of her life and all the people involved. This production is the grandest one I have ever been in yet, and it is also the most professional art journey I have ever experienced. With private lessons on English and Mandarin speeches respectively, and even a class on Tang Dynasty gestures and mannerism... all the details of that era is being brought to life. I can't wait to try on my costumes!!! All the music were originally written for this production and the arrangement is also so grand that it gave me goosebumps!

Act in a TV show ☑

Although I was just an extra, I had the opportunity to see how a TV show was staged and shot. It is definitely simpler than theatre as you can always re-shoot if anyone makes a mistake. But is was loads of fun anyway, because it was for a sitcom. I'll be on air in Oct!

Do a dance gig ☑

Thanks to the talented Kerry-Ann , I had the opportunity to take on a dance gig. Normally, I would only stick to the comfort zone of strength and only do singing gigs. It's stressful to learn up and remember choreography in a span on 2days. But it paid off and I really appreciate how she always has so much faith in me to give me these challenges. =)

Free-lance work ☑

I am still trying out some free-lance jobs which included working for a medical magazine, sales of financial products, perhaps NGO work and emcee/radio-DJing. All new experiences taught me new things that I would not have learnt had I remained in the comfort zone & routines of the corporate world. Even if I do not continue these jobs forever, I have decided to ensure I close enough deals each year to keep my financial license active forever, to continue keeping in touch with all these people I meet along the way as every valuable relationship starts of with strangers. Meeting new people will always help you learn new things or see things in new perspectives.

Not bad eh?? Although a part of me do miss marketing and going back to corporate is very tempting as I watch my savings shrinking by day. But I should persevere a little longer... no??? I still have not ventured into my own business, which was something I put off indefinitely as it required a little too much time commitment which will hinder my passion in the arts. Maybe someday that dream will rise above my artsy dream?? I'll know when the time comes. For now, arts is my first love... I still hope to land a gig in WIP: Bangsar Shopping Complex in November and I still have Everworld: The Musical in December. See you in 2013, corporate world??

Can't have it all... can I?

I know I have lotsa exciting things to blog about such as my nice long trip to the US, my Broadway experience... or my long-time dream to be cast in a Dama Orchestra production finally coming true. (yayyyyyy!!!)

But I realize I am back to reality... and I have paths to try and decisions to make. That was the sole purpose of this sabbatical. The fantasy part of this sabbatical is over. No more overseas trips lined up, no more Broadway-dreaming, no more siu lai lai-ism. Just the falling sands in my hour-glass telling me that my sabbatical time and my sabbatical funding is running. Sure, I've planned for a year... but a year can go by in a blink of an eye without getting a conclusion if I am not careful or disciplined to see through my plans.

I need to make a choice for my future... so, what are my options??? Let's be analytical and practical... my 3 main sources of joy in my career: my passion in performance arts, my fascination for marketing and like every other human on this planet... money! With that, I've plotted my Venn Chart:

Perfect Option: Note that the middle section where my perfect career choice lies... does not exist. No corporate giant would be happy pay big bucks to hire a marketeer who is committed to moonlight as an arts performer... no matter how good you are. That is a fact that I have learnt and accepted while juggling the arts in my last 2 jobs. In fact, they were both jobs which I did enjoy doing. :-( Start my own company?? Spoken to a few entrepreneur friends and more often than not, this requires even more time commitment than the rat-race, which means no time for arts!!

Option 1: Corporate rat-rate; been there done that, can always go back... but giving up the arts is NOT an option at the moment.
Option 2: Financial product salesperson; cold calls to strangers who hang up on you, stands you up for appointments but it sure pays damn well. Not attracted to the process but I do like the money and time flexibility. KIV.
Option 3: Free-lance marketeer; not always available and doesn't pay much. You can end up doing mostly sales free-lancing for them rather than actual marketing. Just landed my first free-lance marketing/sales job with a magazine... no fixed pay, just variable pay based on my output. Fair enough. Will give it a try first, I start today.

First step taken... let's see how it goes. Will not give up hoping or looking for that elusive but precious center piece of my Venn Chart. Wish me luck!! =)

Today's discovery: Faridah Hameed

Was listening to BFM in the car today...



Discovered a new speaker / writer that I like: Faridah Hameed of WowXperience!

"Bitching about somebody actually reflects on you more than it does on the other person"

"Women are consensus seeking and we listen. We want to create a work place where people get along. We are more careful about hurting people's feelings"

"It the talent that counts... The reality is our looks fade, right?"

Brings back the lui-keong-yan semangat in me. After slightly over a month of sabbatical, this is the first time I kind of a-sorta... miss the corporate world. Like!!!! :-)

Neither safe, nor politic, nor popular... but Right!

Last Saturday, I experienced first hand... what it was like to stand up for my belief, principle and right. I attended the Bersih 3.0 rally at Dataran Merdeka... a place close to our patriotic hearts, where we have our Merdeka Day berkawad every year. If this was a pro-opposition or anti-government movement, I most definitely would NOT have gone. I believe that there are heroes and villains on both sides. So, why did I brave myself to endure Bersih 3.0 with thousands of other Malaysians last Saturday??? Because I believe in standing up for a clean and fair election. Fairness, transparency and integrity... people who know me especially those who have worked with me, would know that I, myself hold the highest standards of transparency and integrity in my own life. So, why wouldn't I demand the same for the leaders of my beloved country??

It started as a rather peaceful and cool morning. Hubby & I had dim sum for breakfast and started walking to the Sri Petaling LRT. I was a bit kiasu, kiasi in case of police blocks or anti-Bersih vandals... etc so did not want to drive to the station. I parked far far away. But as we made our way there on foot, there were no police blocks, hardly any cars... very quiet. We reached the station and called a colleague of mine whom we were gonna group with, Ko. But there were people in his group who were late. So being the kiasu kiasi person that I was, worried the LRTs will cease services soon, we went off to Plaza Rakyat first without them. We could always meet up later.

Petaling Street was already full of people in yellow. People who brought their families, their musical instruments and of course some brought banners. Felt more like a street-party.

A guy even parked his van on the street giving out free water to the crowd.  

I had my share of one of my favourite childhood drinks in Petaling Street, Air Mata Kucing... the original one!! Yummy for a hot sunny day.

We then managed to meet up with Ko and gang at McD Jalan Silang even with the limited phone line reception on that day. Be it Maxis, Digi or whatever... hhhmmm, fishy. My dancing-pal, Ynez was also there.

The whole morning was just a nice peaceful street party in KL. Smiling faces greet you in the crowd. Families brought their kids, old folks & and even the disabled to the event. It felt rather welcoming and fun actually. The only unwelcoming vibes came from the stern-faced policemen wondering around in groups or in their trucks. Which is why, our preparation consists of swimming goggles, wet face-towel, ear-plugs, water, salt... hmmm... all things to protect ourselves from things that they police "may" do to us but no preparation of what the "rowdy" rally crowds "may" do to us. Really shows who we trust more.

Anyway, with the bad publicity for the government in Bersih 2.0 last year... I had a lot of faith that the government will tone down their "attacks" this time round. Although, I was prepared for their wrath... deep down in my heart, I naively still had faith that they will not attack their citizens.

Some were not so shy to share their feelings about our ministers. Teehehehehe...

Besides the Bersihians, there were also other groups there making their voices heard. Anti-Lynas group, Pengerang group and some I do not recognize. The most disciplined group practically berkawad in organized line-ups and uniform, was PAS's Unit Amal. They listened to instructions from their group leader and stuck together in an organized fashion. I memang respect and salute this group... they really give an excellent testimony for peaceful sincerely God-fearing Muslims.

Although hubby initially didn't want to go any further as he said that it was too packed up front already. I gungho-ly said I wanted to go further front. I wanna be able to see Dataran Merdeka and all the stuff going on there. Why come all this way to just be way to be left out of the Dataran Merkeka happenings?? So, we followed a fellow churchmate, Andy... who's super huge stature helped to clear the path in front of us like an ambulance in the traffic jam. Hehehehe. We went so front that we could see the police barricade at Dataran Merdeka. There, we truly truly could not go any further.

So, since the idea was to Duduk Bantah...

Some of us sat down on the road to truly embrace the peaceful nature of this rally.... Duduk and Bantah. But because many people were NOT sitting down, it can be quite suffocating to be a quarter of the crowds' height. So I stood back up. Also, I was curious to see what was happening in front. 

And then I heard roars of cheers and claps as a truck passes and hubby told me it was Datuk Ambiga, Dato' Seri Anwar Ibrahim and gang passing by in a truck. Macam celebrities yo... "donch pray pray". Then there were some speeches going on and all, but I could not hear a thing in the noise of the crowd.

Suddenly, I saw a giant Bendera Malaysia crossed from the crowd, across the barricade, into Dataran Merdeka. I was thinking... hmmm... did they police open the barricade after some persuasive speech from those leaders on the truck?? Or did they move in on their own?? I could not see the person holding the giant bendera.... The crowd also was not sure but they shouted "Yay, masuk! masuk!!" victoriously. Suddenly from afar, I spotted fountains of water about 3 storeys high. Water cannon!!! Oh no, the police definitely did not open up the barrier for bendera-guy. Hubby and I put on our swimming goggles first. Then took out our wet face-towels. The crowd reacted quickly too... we turned 180° and started walking. We were shoulder to shoulder with the crowd. Suddenly we feel the burning sensation in our lungs and on our skin. We saw many young Malay boys without goggles who were not only choking, but tearing and their eyes turned red. Although they had it worse than us, one of them began passing out salt to us and to the crowd shouting "garam! garam! ambik!!" and I took some from him. Hubby was passing out his bottled water to these poor boys to wash their face and eyes. Then we felt another dose fired closer to us when I too, started choking. A Unit Amal PAS man shouted, "jangan tolak! ada orang tua!" and I saw him helping an old Chinese uncle who looked even way older than my parents.... couldn't possibly be any younger than 70. 

So, the whole crowd... breathing in the suffocating teargas walked shoulder to shoulder packed along the road together. I saw 2 men who sat on the floor but people still looked out for them and went around them. No one was trampled. I heard an Indian aunty in front of me reciting a Catholic prayer, I heard a Malay man's voice praying to Allah... even in this chaos, these people uphold the first Rukunegara: Kepercayaan Kepada Tuhan. I started praying in my heart too. 

We finally reached a divergence in the road and it was not longer so packed. There was more space but no breathable air nonetheless. Everyone was still suffocating with fresh teargas shot at the crowd eventhough we were far from the Dataran now. We were back in Jalan Silang. Finally, the air cleared and we could finally breathe normally. There were still people on speakers chanting "Hidup, hidup.... Hidup rakyat!"

We casually walked back to Petaling Street to look for food. Wanted to have some Gui Ling Gao to cool down after being teargassed by my own government. But it was sold out!! Once in a while there'd still be remnant of teargas blown into Petaling Street. We figured, they were still being fired right outside Petaling Street so we stayed within the street. Got to know from Ko that the LRT station is closed and the trains were not stopping at this area, the nearest would have to be in Hang Tuah. Andy was trapped in Masjid Jamek station as he went into the station right before the police closed it up and instructed the trains not to stop at these stations. Why in the world are they trying to trap us all here instead of allowing us to disperse and go home?? Having too much fun shooting at us??? Wouldn't arresting those who breached the barricades suffice?? Wouldn't that be a more rational solution?

So, we bravely went out of Petaling Street to get into Nando's for a bite before leaving the scene. Bumped into some friends as we swapped our Bersih 3.0 stories. After which, we walked to Hang Tuah station and made our way home.

Yes, home... the reason we want to fight for a better cleaner fairer election, is because this is home. And we want a good future for our home. We love our home, we love Malaysia, and we will continue to love it and fight for it... teargassed, water cannoned or whatever.