Sunday, June 09, 2013

Is it worth it?

Just had lunch with my favourite headhunter yesterday. I've never gotten a job through her before but we just clicked as friends due to our shared values in life.

One of the topic that came up was what makes what we do worth it?? For some people, it could be the money they are paid for it. For others, it could be the recognition from the company or from society. It could be anything. But looking at the horrible attrition rates these days, I guess nobody feels that anything is worth it.

For me? I'm idealistic, not naive but idealistic. I don't believe that the everyone is good, but I believe there is good in everyone. So, although I am measured by numbers, paid by numbers, recognized by numbers... what makes it worth it for me is not numbers. I truly want to make a difference and give patients better lives and I have to believe that that is what the doctors want too. And in attaining that, the numbers will come in as more patients are given that better life. Working with customers towards an idealistic wholesome cause that binds us together somehow. That is what makes it worth it for me.

But 2 months out of my sabbatical and I feel so drained. I feel so uninspired. I feel that everyone in the organization does not believe that same ideal. Maybe the whole world does not believe that same ideal. That business can only be done by the conventional "I scratch your back, you scratch mine" model.

I can't just go through the motions if I don't believe what I do can make any difference. How then can I make this worth it for little ol' me who refuse to burst her idealistic bubble?

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