Rock, paper, scissors

Just followed up on a job I really wanted this morning, although not finalized, the sub-text (yes, benefits of being in acting, you are better at reading human emotions: sub-text, intention, etc ;) ) of the phone conversation feels like that I could be their second choice. I guess if Miss First Choice accepts, I'm out. :( I have not followed up on my first offer; although lucrative, is not a chronic disease, not a long-term treatment, not emotionally compelling.

Spoke to my sis about it...and she said what if, just what if... this first choice girl is the second choice for my first offer company and is awaiting that company to offer her, that company is waiting for me to answer before offering her, I am waiting for this company to answer me, and this company is waiting for her to accept them?? Confused yet? Rock, paper, scissors... life is a cycle and everything is connected. Hahaha!! Unlikely to be the situation but it would be funny if it were true. Yes, creativity runs in the family. ;)

Ok, jokes aside... is it a big problem that I have too specific an interest? Specialty chronic disease + emotionally compelling + marketing. Not all companies have such disease treatment, and among those, not all have emotionally compelling strategic directions, and the few left which do, may not have openings for marketing. Bleh. I'm just wondering, IS having a specific passion such a bad thing?? Wouldn't a person who wants something so badly appreciate it more and do a better job? Or does the world view this intense passion as desperation? If I was desperate, I would have just applied to any Tom, Dick & Harry company, in any Tom, Dick & Harry disease (gosh, that doesn't even make any sense). I would have accepted my first offer just to get a job, any job. But I don't want just any job. :( :(

Maybe the universe is trying to tell me something? Maybe God is trying to tell me something?? May be I should open up my options beyond my area of interest?? But I can't help but to want what I want and love what I love. But should I?

Perhaps, some day I will understand why all this is happening... Just like what Steve Jobs said

“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.”

Dots oh, dots! Please • connect • yourselves • soon •