The Year That Was 2012

I suppose I could do the shortcut by using the FB 2012 review thingy, but there is definitely more personal touch in my own story of 2012. (more accurate too... FB 2012 review shows that I got married this year when I did that almost 4 years ago :p)

One word to sum up 2012?? AMAZING!!!

It was the year I swallowed my pride, took the risk, and took that leap of faith to take a long break after 10 years of life in the corporate world. No work? No money? *gasp* What did I do for food? Car loan? House loan? What did I do with all that extra time?? Let's see:

1. March: Cambodian mission-trip to Kampong Speu.

2. March: My Bangkok mission to source for clothes suppliers may have failed miserably but I had an artsy trip instead and my first awesome experience Dining in the Dark.

3. April: Auditioned for Everworld, the Musical which sparked my brand new spiritual journey in SIBKL for 2012.

4. May: My first vacation with my mom!! Due to time constraints, normally my sis is the one who brings her for vacations.

5. June - July: My first trip to the USA with my sis, to visit my bestfriend of almost 20 years, aka Sui Poh! & my first taste of Broadway, New York!!!





6. Aug: My first ever dance gig, with awesome dancers Kerry-Ann & Megan.

7. Aug: My first time acting for TV, as an extra in Small Mission Enterprise, NTV7. That episode was only aired on 27th Dec. Awkward seeing myself on TV, perhaps I will stick to live theatre... hehehe.

8. Sept: Wrote and composed my first ever musical together with hubby. And our piece won big time!!

9. Oct: My first ever (hopefully not the last) musical with Dama Orchestra, Empress Wu the Musical!! Such an awesome bunch of people to work with.

10. Nov: Work for a non-profit organisation, StART... an art school for underprivileged children. Working for a good cause is truly and amazing experience.

11. Dec: Everworld, The Musical! The most epic production I have ever done for Christmas... with a memorable journey of lots of learnings along the way.





I thank God for all the doors He has opened for me this year, I thank God for providing for me through my broke-ness of this sabbatical and thank Him even more so, for the people He has brought to my life: my hubby, my family, old friends, new friends, journey-mates and everyone that was part of this amazing journey of 2012!!!

See you in 2013!!!! Happy New Year!!!!

Passion and Purpose

As we are approaching the finale of the Everworld journey, I am beginning to feel the post-production syndrome... a tad early but that sad feeling of love-and-lost has begun. Tears well up in my eyes just thinking about 26th Dec when it's all over. :-(...

I reflect back on all the productions I have ever been in. ALWAYS without fail, I get that post-production syndrome, missing the people, missing the journey, missing the entire emotional attachment to the production.  Were any of the productions perfect? The people, the process, the resources, the everything... was any of it so perfectly flawless that we miss being in that perfect team, perfect job, perfect atmosphere?

Nope! Far from it. There are always things that you love and things that frustrates you to the bone in every single journey. Every single journey has its ups and downs. Yet we do it again & again & love it!

What makes a theatre production different from a corporate project? Why then don't we miss our corporate projects, processes and colleagues so much that we get all emotional and tearry-eyed when a project ends? They are all projects right? They involve living breathing human beings, right? They all involve a journey right?

There are probably more but I have zoomed down to just 2 distinctive differences:

One - Purpose

In corporate, the people involved in each project have their own goals. They are using the project as a stepping stone to reach those goals. Very rarely does a person's own goals matches the organization's fancy schmancy vision.

In a theatre production, everyone just wants to put on a good show. 1 lousy actor or 1 lousy sound engineer can ruin the entire show causing bad ticket sales, bad reviews, oh the humiliation! So, people help each other to ensure they achieve their "selfish" goals of putting on a good show.

Two - Passion

In corporate, some of the people are doing it in exchange for something (money, status, sense of stability, etc). Of course there are some who are truly passionate about the cause or the work but the majority are there because they are exchanging their time and efforts for something. They more miserable they feel about their job, the more they feel "entitled" to more rewards. It's about the rewards, not the work or the cause itself.

In theatre, there is no money, no fame, nothing else to gain but to put on a show. You don't get billboards in your name or appear on a silver screen. You do theatre because, well... you love doing theatre. The doing itself IS the reward.

But of course in all cases there are an exception or two but the team's vibe is driven by the majority.

I'm just using theatre because I am a theatre-pratitioner but I am sure there are other examples out there with that common passion and purpose such as working for an NGO or professional sports or an orchestra or so forth. But wouldn't it be wonderful to find a company with a bunch of people with that common passion and purpose?? Where people love what they do or love the cause behind it.  I'm still looking... Let's see how it goes. :-)

How to Eat A Whole Cow

How now brown cow?

How do you eat a whole cow?? You cut it into parts of digestible size, and eat it part by part of course. You can have rendang beef today, BBQ beef ribs tomorrow, and steak the next day. Before you know it, you will be down to Oxtail soup and you're done!

It is the same thing with when you are given any big task. You break it down into smaller parts and take it one part at a time.

We usually get overwhelmed by the size of the cow task. Then wallow in self-pity or complain over how unreasonable it is to eat a cow do the task. By the time we finish lamenting, we could have used it to finish up 2 pieces of steak parts of the task. Just calmly break it down, count our resources (BBQ sauce? Curry spices? ;)) and take it one part at a time. In fact, when it is in small parts, we will actually enjoy it.

Task 1: You need to finish your MBA dissertation. 26,000 words plus loads of surveys and analysis prior to the 26,000 words. Same thing, Breathe in, breathe out. Break it down. Just do it one part at a time. Before you know it, done!! Graduation time! Wheeeee!

Task 2: You are asked to prepare analyze a gazillion files of numbers & numbers & numbers, prepare 50 worksheets and 100 slides, x 2 slide-decks!! Aaarrggghh! Die, die, no?? No. Just look through all the resources you have... how much time? Anyone else around who can be of help? Break it down to smaller, more digestible parts, do it one part at a time. Before you know it, eh?? Done. Huh? That was it?? Easy peasy.

Task 2: You need to do from scratch; a murder investigation story plot, come up with real clues, misleading clues, background stories, characters, possible audience reaction and interaction scenarios, write the script, plan the timeline, conduction auditions, find a bunch of talented actors willing to work for free, direct, rehearsals, stage the whole thing & raise funds for a good cause....Aaaaargggghhh... I am but a mere actress, never have I ever done this before in my life!! Right, right??? Let's see, I already had rendang beef, and the sirloin steak. I think I shall have some BBQ beef ribs today. No sign of Oxtail soup yet, but I am sure I'll get there if I don't stop at BBQ beef ribs. ^_^

The Affordability to be Poor

A month ago I started a temporary job at StART. It's a project bound job rather than a time bound one, I only had to come into the office 2hr a day, 2days a week. And I had only committed until the end of December, for a start. The deal is, if I find the "proper" job of my dreams by January, I will continue this fundraising project after-working hours. If I don't find it, I will continue full-time doing this project until March.

Maggie!!

The office is a small little room with 2 work-desks, shared by 5 of us. In the compound, is a colourful van named Maggie, a non-working pool - we cannot afford to maintain it :( , a pond and the occasional friendly neighbourhood biawak. I just get paid a small salary... with no employee benefits, allowances or fat bonuses. Freelancer ma.

Hardly the money, the perks or the luxurious private office I get in the corporate world kan?

StART's debut at Urbanscapes

Yet, how has it been so far? Not only have I been hanging out in the office every freaking weekday, and even some of the weekend events because the people are awesome. I am actually looking forward to work days. I finish my work ahead of time most of the time because my inspiration keeps pouring in... overflowing even!! I am so excited to have them read my stories, my scripts and to add their little own witty bits in it.

StART family!! Boss behind d camera :p

I love spending the time with the team, they feel like family. Everyone is so wonderful and caring and super passionate about their work. The positive energy is totally contagious! Everybody has the same purpose that drives them to work, to see these kids' talents flourish. My boss is not just "tolerating" my commitment to performance arts, he is playing the lead role in the very same production and his commitment to rehearsals are even higher than me!!

Dammit! Why can't giant corporate organizations be so bloody awesome? Passionate people, common purpose, selflessness, understanding team-mates, super high trust & honesty...etc etc :( :( :( If ever I becomes like a GM or something, I shall instill this kind of culture. :)

Dammit! First Musical Theatre, now Writing for an ngo. I just love falling for jobs that don't pay don't I?? Well, I survived on a small salary before 10 years ago, why can't I 10 years later? Let's see:
1. 10 years ago, I did not have my own house to pay for. Now, I share this expense with hubby.
2. 10 years ago, I did not have so many stupid insurances to pay for. Now, I am covered for a gazillion different things.
3. 10 years ago, I was driving a cute little Kancil. Now, I am driving a Mazda 3 - Sport.
4. 10 years ago, my lifestyle was a lot simpler. Now, I have gym memberships, facials-packages, travelling plans, etc etc every year.
5. 10 years ago, my parents were still working. Now, they are my dependents.
6. Inflation!!!

I suppose epf can take care of #1, I can get rid of #2 and #3. And due to my sabbatical, I have already gotten rid of #4. And #6 is something totally out of my control and inevitable, ggahh!

But #5, a responsibility for another human being is something that I will never have the heart to be irresponsible with. I know they will freak out if I even downgrade my car to a Kancil... "losing face" is something dead serious for them. So, because of my daughterly irresponsibility, I cannot afford to be poor.

So, this is precisely the reason why I do not want kids... not before, not now, not ever! If I have motherly responsibilities on top of daughterly responsibilities, I cannot afford to be poor. I myself, is more than willing to sacrifice things that money can buy, for my love of things that money cannot buy. But I cannot force the people I am responsible for, to sacrifice the same thing. I may not be able to choose not to be a daughter, but I have the choice, not to be a mother.

So, if anyone asks me why I don't want children... this is my answer... I want to have The Affordability to be Poor. Do you have The Affordibility to be Poor??

Feed or starve, the choice is yours

Plutchik-Wheel of emotions

Emotions:

- A strong feeling deriving from one’s circumstances, mood, or relationships with others. (Oxford Dictionary)

- The affective aspect of consciousness / a state of feeling / a conscious mental reaction (as anger or fear) subjectively experienced as strong feeling usually directed toward a specific object and typically accompanied by physiological and behavioral changes in the body. (Merriam-Webster Dictionary)

- A discrete and consistent responses to internal or external events which have a particular significance for the organism. (Wikipedia)

- A natural instinctive state of mind deriving from one's circumstances, mood, or relationships with others. (Google Dictionary)

Can we control them? Some people think we actors have on-off switches to turn on whatever emotions we want. It's not really that simple. Lots of preparation goes before we can achieve those emotions on stage.

I don't think that I can control my emotions. However, I've realized a neat little trick. An emotion is very much like a living thing. It can grow bigger and stronger or it can get weaker and even die. So, just like a living thing, you can either feed it and make it grow or starve it and let it die. We can definitely control our actions of feeding or starving it.

Eg. I have a crush on a colleague. Butterflies in stomach, hearts-a-fluttering crush. Then I feed the crush... stalk his Facebook page (this part is fictitious... we didn't have Facebook yet at that time, otherwise I would've FB-stalked him :P). It grows. 

Feed it some more... we go on a date. It grows even more.

He proposes. It grows even bigger. 

We do up our house together. Growing, growing...

We plan the wedding together. Big big growth.

We discover a new passion together. Perform in theatre together. It grows even bigger. and bigger and bigger and bigger. We write a musical together...and we keep feeding and it keeps growing and growing and growing. Wheeeeee!!! But in this case, it is 2 people feeding it.

or

Eg. I have a crush on a colleague. Butterflies in stomach, hearts-a-fluttering crush. Then I feed the crush... stalk his Facebook page. It grows. I go back to life as normal. I rationalize since he was in Penang, I was in KL... it's geographically impractical right? Starved it. It weakens. Stop contacting him, only see him infrequently during meetings. Starve it. It weakens even more. I resigned from the organization and no longer see him even infrequently. It dies off. Habis cerita. Choose this option if your colleague is unavailable of course. hehehe. 

You can also feed a negative emotion and make yourself totally unhappy or starve it and snap out of it in due time. 

Eg. I am annoyed with my boss because he was rude due to a bad day. I feed it and complain to my colleague about him. It grows. Another colleague gossips about him about his work ethics, I add to her gossip by telling her about him being rude. More feeding. It grows. I feel to lazy to go to work and press snooze on my alarm 10x causing me to be late to work. I curse the traffic jam. Feeding, growing . I could not finish my work because I was late and had to stayback late and cancel my drinking night out with the girls. I curse the workload. Feeding, growing. In my bad mood, I was rude to a customer. The customer throws tantrum at me. It grows. I post a frustrated FB status and 100 friends "Like" it. It grew soooo big that I so hate this job, I shall resign ASAP!! Even my friends agree, right?? 

Do I end up happy even after many others justified my annoyance?? And yet, I've been guilty of feeding negative emotions before, many times.

or

I am annoyed with my boss because he was rude due to a bad day. I starve it and just do what he asked and quickly email to him so that he won't bother me. It weakens. Another colleague gossips about him and his work ethics, I just avoid her and go for lunch with other colleagues. It weakens more. The next day, ask boss out for lunch, chit-chat and found out his maid ran away yesterday and stole his family's stuff. Oh, no wonder bad mood. It dies off. No longer annoyed at boss or at job. Ta-da!

So, I promise myself if I have positive emotions... I shall consciously feed it, regularly. Just like feeding my cats, twice a day. heheh. And if I have negative emotions, I shall consciously remind myself to starve it, starve it till it dies. For me, I have a tendency to feed ALL emotions good or bad. @.@

So, I do have an on-off switch after all... no wonder I'm an actress. ;) ;)

A beachy break

Sawadeekah Phuket!

Hubby and I have just returned from a nice break in Phuket. It's been from one hectic production to the next. First Empress Wu: The Musical, then straight into EverWorld: The Musical. We've been looking forward to some "OFF" time together. Off from productions, off from work, and off from data roaming hehehe.

Our abode... cosy

swim swim swim!! 

Other than the heavenly Thai massages, everything else in Patong is horribly expensive. Food, shopping, transportation, excursions, etc etc. A regular meal at a kopitiam-ish place costs us about RM60!! Initially I thought I'm on sabbatical and is extra broke at this time, everything feels relatively more expensive... but even McDonald's costs about RM18-20 per medium combo meal. Bleh.

We had a wonderful time anyway, we both love Thai food... to da max!! And we both love massages. For RM25, you can get yourself an hour's worth of a full body Thai massage! Nice!!! Can get massages to our hearts' content! :) :) :)

We obviously ate to our hearts stomach's content!! We did minimal shopping only... it's not as satisfying or as good a bargain as shopping in Bangkok. 

burgers!!

mango sticky rice!

on the bus to Phuket Town

We took the long route to the airport via the public bus... other than costing us less than a taxi, it is always enchanting to take long routes because of what you see along the way; community of kampungs along the way, independent children taking the bus home on their own about 20km from their school, small vendors along the rural roads... just people living their simple lives reminding me how brattily spoilt I can be in the comfort of our blessed nation. Yup, we should always be thankful.

Thai food galore!! Hubs sure loves his tomyum & green curry!

all kinds of everything!!! YUM!

Time away from everyone and everything is always nice... and hubs brought his Dale shirt, the cute shirt he wore years ago at one fateful sales meeting in Lumut... when I first had a mini-crush on him. hehehe. Look what that crush has grown into!! ♥ ♥ ♥ 

see the resemblance??

Long live creativity!

"Picasso once said that all children are born artists. The trick is to remain an artist as we grow up. I believe this passionately: We don't grow into creativity; we grow out of it." ~ Sir Ken Robinson ~

Love the story about Gillian Lynne. Do watch the whole video... he makes so much sense. If you're more of a reader, go here to read the entire transcript.

I don't ever ever ever want to grow out of creativity.... EVER!!! ;-)

Almost famous?? ^_^

As I bask in the remaining few months of my life as a full-time arts practitioner... I too, shall bask and soak in whatever spotlight that I had managed to shamelessly grab for myself this year. It's been so much fun that time really flew... light-speed!!

Timeout Penang - Aug 2012

**For the link to the original article, click here

Female magazine - Nov 2012

**note: correction on this article, I am 34 & it was a year ago that I made the decision that drove my parents bonkers. hehehe. ;)

Sweet Success!!

Outdated post: Had absolutely no time for the past 3 weeks but better late than never. After being rivals or competitors wt hubby as performers in last year's Short + Sweet Musical Festival, this year we decided to collaborate and write a musical together after attending the superb Short + Sweet Musical Workshop several months ago by Llew Marsh and Onn San.

The verdict of our collaboration???

A record-breaking 7 awards!!!

- Best Overall Production

- Best Director: Freddy Tan & Siti Farrah Abdullah

- Best Musical Director: Clarence Chua

- Best Lead Actor: Malik Taufiq

- Best Lead Actress: Anrie Too

- Best Supporting Actress: Lynn Goh

- Glitz and Glamour Award for Costumes & Make-up (by Zef)

A big big CONGRATULATIONS to the entire team of The Geongxi Is A Vamp!! Geongxi Geongxi!

If you've missed it, (like us :( as we were performing for Empress Wu next door in Pentas 1)... here is the video of the show! Knock yourselves out!!

The Geong Xi is a Vamp

Hubby & I decided to give our first attempt at writing & composing a musical this year, for the Short and Sweet Musical Festival. So, we came up with "The Geong Xi is a Vamp"... a comedy about clashes of culture, parental expectations, and finding acceptance. Directed by our fellow Malaysian Girls casts, Freddy Tan and Siti Farrah Abdullah. They've put together a great team, musical director: Clarence Chua (our nephew) with his awesome team of musicians, casts: Malik Taufiq, Anrie Too, Lynn Goh and Alfred Loh... featuring Freddy Tan, the director himself too, and make-up: UiHua and Zef.

 

After watching the first rehearsal last night, we laughed tergolek-golek and are totally amazed with how they brought our story and music to life!!! LOVED it!!! We really wish we can watch it, but we'll be performing for Empress Wu next door concurrent with the Festival. We can only meet our beloved Geong Xi family backstage in the green-room.  

I really really enjoy watching words and musical notes come to life and developing my writing/composing skill could very well be my next passion. If it works out, it'll be the best solution to my dilemma of juggling the arts and the corporate world. Cake, oh cake! I may have you and eat you too??? ;-)

So, if you can find the chance to catch The Geong Xi is a Vamp, please do... and tell us what you think!!! :D

Checking off!!

In a blink of an eye, it has been more than 4 months since I left the rat-race. With any kind of time-off... if your not careful, you may end up lazing around without getting anything done, without figuring anything out. I thank God, I have had the opportunity to do A LOT of what I had set out to:

1st vacation with Mom ☑

We went to Taipei & spent some good mother-daughter quality time together. Never had the opportunity to it before due to time constraints. It was always my sister who accompanies my mom on her travels, because she is a teacher with loads of time off work.

Watch Broadway Musicals in NYC  ☑

I had the opportunity to catch the 3 multiple Tony Award winning Broadway shows: War Horse, The Book of Mormons and Once. And OMG, Broadway was superb!!! I really really hope someday our performance arts industry will reach that level... and I hope that someday is within my lifetime. ;-)

Visit Sui Poh in Boston ☑

Something I had wanted to do since Sui Poh moved to the states 8 years ago. The girl I spent most of my teenage and university days with... flew off and started a new life in the states. I miss her like crazy, and I miss her even more now that we got reacquainted during my visit. I do hope to pay her more visits... but I don't have the money for many US trips AND a 1 year sabbatical. hahah

Wrote a Musical ☑

Co-wrote and co-composed The GeongXi is a Vamp with hubby... eastern culture meets western culture, and vampires. And we got an AWESOME team of directors, musical director, make-up guy and actors to stage it. If you are going to watch it at the Short and Sweet Musical Festival this year on 26 - 29th Sept @klpac, please vote for Musical #6!! ;-) I am so excited to see it come to life!! Which will probably be on video only... unfortunately, I will be performing next door at the same time... and will not be able to watch it live. Sobs!!

Cast in a Dama Production ☑

This is the reason I cannot watch my own musical. I am performing in Empress Wu: The Musical... an epic story of the rise of Lady Wu to become the first ruling Empress of China. The ups and downs of her life and all the people involved. This production is the grandest one I have ever been in yet, and it is also the most professional art journey I have ever experienced. With private lessons on English and Mandarin speeches respectively, and even a class on Tang Dynasty gestures and mannerism... all the details of that era is being brought to life. I can't wait to try on my costumes!!! All the music were originally written for this production and the arrangement is also so grand that it gave me goosebumps!

Act in a TV show ☑

Although I was just an extra, I had the opportunity to see how a TV show was staged and shot. It is definitely simpler than theatre as you can always re-shoot if anyone makes a mistake. But is was loads of fun anyway, because it was for a sitcom. I'll be on air in Oct!

Do a dance gig ☑

Thanks to the talented Kerry-Ann , I had the opportunity to take on a dance gig. Normally, I would only stick to the comfort zone of strength and only do singing gigs. It's stressful to learn up and remember choreography in a span on 2days. But it paid off and I really appreciate how she always has so much faith in me to give me these challenges. =)

Free-lance work ☑

I am still trying out some free-lance jobs which included working for a medical magazine, sales of financial products, perhaps NGO work and emcee/radio-DJing. All new experiences taught me new things that I would not have learnt had I remained in the comfort zone & routines of the corporate world. Even if I do not continue these jobs forever, I have decided to ensure I close enough deals each year to keep my financial license active forever, to continue keeping in touch with all these people I meet along the way as every valuable relationship starts of with strangers. Meeting new people will always help you learn new things or see things in new perspectives.

Not bad eh?? Although a part of me do miss marketing and going back to corporate is very tempting as I watch my savings shrinking by day. But I should persevere a little longer... no??? I still have not ventured into my own business, which was something I put off indefinitely as it required a little too much time commitment which will hinder my passion in the arts. Maybe someday that dream will rise above my artsy dream?? I'll know when the time comes. For now, arts is my first love... I still hope to land a gig in WIP: Bangsar Shopping Complex in November and I still have Everworld: The Musical in December. See you in 2013, corporate world??

A Life of Epic-ness!

As I struggle climbing that steep difficult discouraging 1st phase of my life free-lancing, I make sure I frequently reflect upon the motivation behind my quitting the cushy corporate life. The stage and the spotlight!! Yes, I love the stage and the spotlight!!

This time, I get to work with the theatre company that I had craved to work for since I first saw their production. Not only did I like what I saw, but I have heard many of my arts performer friends rave about their team's warmness and professionalism. FINALLY, I am proudly in a Dama Orchestra production... and this has to be the most epic story of ancient China.

Empress Wu: The Musical

The team is exactly as people have raved about, super professional and really nice. They have been so organized and structured (creativity meet order... my universe!!). Everyone is so committed to the production and there isn't a single person in the production who does not commit to this production like it is their one and only career... doesn't matter if they are in it part-time only. We are given proper Mandarin classes, English classes, ancient Chinese movement/mannerism class, ... I have never been so proud to be Chinese ever! And don't get me started on the costumes!!! I'm soooo excited!

As for my role, I get to play someone older... a mother. Me? A mother?? hehehe. Ok, lotsa work to be done on character background and character analysis then.

Please come watch.... public show tickets are almost all gone. Do come for the charity nights then, you can do something good while you get entertained with the most epic story of an ambitious woman in the ancient patriarchal times!!

EXCITED!!! :) :) :)

Can't have it all... can I?

I know I have lotsa exciting things to blog about such as my nice long trip to the US, my Broadway experience... or my long-time dream to be cast in a Dama Orchestra production finally coming true. (yayyyyyy!!!)

But I realize I am back to reality... and I have paths to try and decisions to make. That was the sole purpose of this sabbatical. The fantasy part of this sabbatical is over. No more overseas trips lined up, no more Broadway-dreaming, no more siu lai lai-ism. Just the falling sands in my hour-glass telling me that my sabbatical time and my sabbatical funding is running. Sure, I've planned for a year... but a year can go by in a blink of an eye without getting a conclusion if I am not careful or disciplined to see through my plans.

I need to make a choice for my future... so, what are my options??? Let's be analytical and practical... my 3 main sources of joy in my career: my passion in performance arts, my fascination for marketing and like every other human on this planet... money! With that, I've plotted my Venn Chart:

Perfect Option: Note that the middle section where my perfect career choice lies... does not exist. No corporate giant would be happy pay big bucks to hire a marketeer who is committed to moonlight as an arts performer... no matter how good you are. That is a fact that I have learnt and accepted while juggling the arts in my last 2 jobs. In fact, they were both jobs which I did enjoy doing. :-( Start my own company?? Spoken to a few entrepreneur friends and more often than not, this requires even more time commitment than the rat-race, which means no time for arts!!

Option 1: Corporate rat-rate; been there done that, can always go back... but giving up the arts is NOT an option at the moment.
Option 2: Financial product salesperson; cold calls to strangers who hang up on you, stands you up for appointments but it sure pays damn well. Not attracted to the process but I do like the money and time flexibility. KIV.
Option 3: Free-lance marketeer; not always available and doesn't pay much. You can end up doing mostly sales free-lancing for them rather than actual marketing. Just landed my first free-lance marketing/sales job with a magazine... no fixed pay, just variable pay based on my output. Fair enough. Will give it a try first, I start today.

First step taken... let's see how it goes. Will not give up hoping or looking for that elusive but precious center piece of my Venn Chart. Wish me luck!! =)

Today's discovery: Faridah Hameed

Was listening to BFM in the car today...



Discovered a new speaker / writer that I like: Faridah Hameed of WowXperience!

"Bitching about somebody actually reflects on you more than it does on the other person"

"Women are consensus seeking and we listen. We want to create a work place where people get along. We are more careful about hurting people's feelings"

"It the talent that counts... The reality is our looks fade, right?"

Brings back the lui-keong-yan semangat in me. After slightly over a month of sabbatical, this is the first time I kind of a-sorta... miss the corporate world. Like!!!! :-)

I am my mother's daughter

An awfully outdated post... but Mother's Day this year was finally different. Not just the usual dinner and ang pau... but real precious mother-daughter time away from everything. Being a mother is a full-time job... like 24hr, 7days/week, 53weeks/year. No break... no time off. So, being away from the family and the home is sort of a break... I said sort of because, even then, all the way in Taipei... she is still my mother. I am glad to finally spend that quality time with her; exploring foreign places, walking helluva a lot, explore new food, shopping and pillow talk every night for a week. It was nice... sometimes you don't realize that you don't take the time to get to know a person better just because that person is there, everyday. 

I sure hope mom enjoyed her Mother's Day this year with me... I certainly enjoyed it with her. :-)

Parental Choices

When we were young, we used to hang on to our parents with our dear life. Nope, there are no other human beings we could trust except these 2 adults who gave life to us and spend every single day with us. But, as we grow older, we start to have our own lives... we develop wider social circles and we get married.

Our parents' place in our lives become smaller and smaller without us noticing it. Time spent with them gets less by the year... time spent on work gets more by the year. In this day and age of the busyness era, everyone has to learn to prioritize. Work puts food on the table and a roof over our head... yes, that become priority numero uno! It doesn't help when most of us have only 15 days of annual leave per year. 15 measly days. And so it becomes very easy to prioritize everything else over them...

1 week vacation (minus weekends is 5 days leave) with your hot stud hubby or 1 week home with nagging parents??

1 week off for a performance tour (or whatever your hobbies/passion may be) or 1 week of balik kampung with your mom to see more relatives who will ask you "when are you having a baby?"???

Another 1 week off for a girly beach vacation with you BFF or to visit a faraway BFF that you only get to see once in a blue moon or 1 week off to bring your mom for an unadventurous elderly-friendly holiday???

And there goes your 15 days of leave!! Haven't even counted emergency leaves, church missions, extension of business trips in exotic places, etc etc.

The answers are very easy. Wayyy too easy to choose... that we often forget that, they made the choice to have you. They prioritize having to spend their time, effort, money to bring you and raise you into this world... sacrifice their youth. A much much much more difficult choice than to choose the latter in ANY of the above. A choice so difficult that I myself have decided not to go down that path. But they went down that path already.

So this year, while I am on sabbatical... incomeless as I may be, I will finally have the luxury of time. The luxury of time to go home more, time to go for my very first (yes, first. shame on me) vacation with my mom. And I am looking forward to it. While selecting photos for this post, I realize I do not have a single photo of me and my mom alone. With dad, plenty but not a single one with mom alone. Tomorrow, will be my very first trip with my mom alone... and it will be the first of many photos of me and her alone. It is never too late to make the other choice to be with them. =)


Happy Mother's Day!!!