Just followed up on a job I really wanted this morning, although not finalized, the sub-text (yes, benefits of being in acting, you are better at reading human emotions: sub-text, intention, etc ;) ) of the phone conversation feels like that I could be their second choice. I guess if Miss First Choice accepts, I'm out. :( I have not followed up on my first offer; although lucrative, is not a chronic disease, not a long-term treatment, not emotionally compelling.
Spoke to my sis about it...and she said what if, just what if... this first choice girl is the second choice for my first offer company and is awaiting that company to offer her, that company is waiting for me to answer before offering her, I am waiting for this company to answer me, and this company is waiting for her to accept them?? Confused yet? Rock, paper, scissors... life is a cycle and everything is connected. Hahaha!! Unlikely to be the situation but it would be funny if it were true. Yes, creativity runs in the family. ;)
Ok, jokes aside... is it a big problem that I have too specific an interest? Specialty chronic disease + emotionally compelling + marketing. Not all companies have such disease treatment, and among those, not all have emotionally compelling strategic directions, and the few left which do, may not have openings for marketing. Bleh. I'm just wondering, IS having a specific passion such a bad thing?? Wouldn't a person who wants something so badly appreciate it more and do a better job? Or does the world view this intense passion as desperation? If I was desperate, I would have just applied to any Tom, Dick & Harry company, in any Tom, Dick & Harry disease (gosh, that doesn't even make any sense). I would have accepted my first offer just to get a job, any job. But I don't want just any job. :( :(
Maybe the universe is trying to tell me something? Maybe God is trying to tell me something?? May be I should open up my options beyond my area of interest?? But I can't help but to want what I want and love what I love. But should I?
Perhaps, some day I will understand why all this is happening... Just like what Steve Jobs said
“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.”
Finally, I have registered for the 2013 Standard Chartered KL Marathon!!!!
Mampus... some crazy voice inside my head told me to do that and I don't know why I listened. I already have knee problems and I have just turned 35. If I live to 70, this is exactly midpoint. Yes, may be that crazy voice in my head has a name: mid-life crisis. First, I took an artsy sabbatical, now I wanna run 42.195 kilometres around KL.
While I'm at it... I might as well give myself a reason behind this crazy torturous journey. Please help me motivate myself by supporting The National Autism Society of Malaysia by going to my Runner's Profile page. Ta-da!!
Then, please click on this nice big blue "donate" button on that Runner's Profile page to donate:
Registration and the motivation behind it are just the beginning of the torture journey... now comes the training.
The crazy training calendar
I've already gotten a headstart and pre-train before I flag-off my training.
Week -2: total 7.5 km only.
Week -1: total 22 km only.
Next week will be Week 1... when the sweat, tears and blood begins! Look on the bright side, at least I can eat mother-loads of carbs and not get fat. ;-)
I'd better hit the ground running, wish me luck & support my cause!!!! :D :D
I'm super duper uber excited about my upcoming project, and it's all for a good cause too! Do it for the less fortunate children, or just do it to be entertained... but do come join us! =)
Welcome to a night of enthralling mystery, scandals, and eureka moments. Welcome to a place where fiction and reality has little separation. Welcome to a theatrical performance where YOU unwittingly become part of the cast.
Special Appearance:
Marina Mahathir (Guest of Honour)
Carey Ng (Miss Universe Malaysia 2012)
Asha Gill
Emily Lim
Liang
Date: 20 – 21st April 2013, Saturday and Sunday
Time: 7pm – 11pm
Venue: Hilton Petaling Jaya, Kristal Ballroom 1 & 2, 1st Floor, West Wing
Tickets: RM200 per pax or RM2,000 per table
For more information please contact StART Society at: 03 7954 5423 | 016 336 8185 | startsociety.info@gmail.com
Venue Sponsor: Hilton Petaling Jaya
A Fundraising Project for StART Society, where talent is unearthed and nurtured.
Directed by: Freddy Tan
Winner of Best Director for The Geongxi Is A Vamp (winner of Best Overall Production) in Short & Sweet Musical 2012. Director for Corporal PUNishment in 2012 (klpac). Winner of Festival Director’s Award in Short & Sweet Theatre 2011. Writer/Lyricist for Oriental Takeout (winner of Best Overall Production) in Short & Sweet Musical 2011. Performed in INDICINELIVE! in KL, Penang, Kuching and Singapore.
Written by: Karynn Tan
Composer/Lyricist for The Geongxi Is a Vamp (winner of Best Overall Production) in Short & Sweet Musical 2012, Winner of Best Lead Actress in Oriental Takeout (winner of Best Overall Production) in Short & Sweet Musical 2011, Performed in Dama Orchestra’s Empress Wu and klpac’s Malaysian Girls.
I just totally totally totally LOVE "How I Met Your Mother". I iz a BIG FAN!!! It's so hilarious in a really witty way. They really amplify things that happens in our day to day lives and make normal stuff so super uber lol rofl hilarious. Clever gilababs! An example from this season is the Stamp Tramp ie. Marshall. Who gives his stamp of approval to anything and everything because he is just too too nice. While Lily, only gives her approval Stamp if something is truly worth her Stamp.
Marshall giving himself an approval stamp ;)
In real life too we all have the Marshalls and the Lilys amongst our friends. As positive and nice the Marshalls are, in the end we trust the Lily Stamps more anyway.
Have you encountered a Stamp Tramp? I definitely have. But that story, deserves a whole post. ;)
Should I attempt the full marathon this time?? People say the biggest obstacle is your own mind... I think my mind is in pretty good shape!!! Not that sure about my legs though... :p
As I embark on my job-hunt, these interviews really help you reflect. A popular question "What are some of your areas of improvement?" Nice way to say weaknesses... er, I am only human, sure plenty, kan??
I don't know about corporate flers, but art practitioners crave to get feedback. We'd open the newspapers the day after opening night to read reviews, we stay back after shows for our director's notes. Was our singing off pitch? Intentions unclear? Bad diction? The very next day, we will try our best to fix whatever comment the best we can, be extra vigilant on those areas of improvement.
Feeding on criticism, of course, can go beyond just the arts... if we would only endure the occasional burst of ego-bubble from critics with good intent, those who are honest enough and care enough to help us grow.
Critic 1: Anish
Remember how he got me to my cheese? Well, in the process of finding the cheese & all ... he too gave me 2 distinct criticisms that I can recall: I was too risk-averse & low sense of urgency. At the time, whatever ideas I had, stayed ideas in my head. "no guts to implement? maybe now is not the time yet? maybe I shouldn't fix what is not broken?" Yup, I was like that... but I tried to fix it. Not overnight but little by little, I got a bit braver, more adventurous, and as a result, I was much faster too. If you asked my team in my most recent job in Abbott, I was a feisty, gutsy, out-of-the-box, high sense of urgency person... & will drive them up the wall (or vice versa hehe) if they were conventional or slow. The biggest risk in my career? Taking this sabbatical to pursue the arts; Will I get back the kind of job I like? Can I start back where I left off? Or will I have to make sacrifices & rebuild my corporate reputation from scratch? I still keep Anish's whatsapp message "I know you'll do well, keep following your heart"!! :)
Critic 2: Ai-Hong
My favourite boss, mentor, friend in my entire corporate career. Her critique? You need to be more sharp with numbers. I was indeed quite often careless with numbers but she was super sharp & meticulous. I may have been a math-whiz way back in school but after graduation, after deciding to give an engineering career a miss, I got too lazy to practice it anymore. Use it or lose it. So, it was time to revive the engineer in me. I gotta check and recheck all my data constantly. Then guess what? A few years down the road, I got a distinction in my Finance module in my MBA. Finance! @.@ Sure boh? *blink hard hard* Look at my transcript again, yup! And most recently, I was offered a business analyst job. Huh? Miss artsy fartsy? An analyst? No lar... it's just a part of my mentor which was left behind in me, among all the other amazing stuff that she taught me.
Critic 3: Kerry-Ann
She was the first ever choreographer I had to work with, in my first every production back in 2009. The first person I ever knew who had a Bachelors Degree in Dance!! I remember struggling to understand what she wants... "you need to be in character! what does your character want? what does she feel?" Huh? I thought dancing meant, 5-6-7-8 step here, turn there, fling out an arm, turn to the right, etc etc. What's all this inside-out thing she's talking about? I didn't get her, she didn't get why I didn't get it. She shouted until I cried one day. But after that, little by little, I understood her a little more. Not entirely but just a little more each day. Eh, eh... she stopped shouting. "Now we're getting somewhere" was probably in both our minds. In the end, the choreography was what stole the show. Suddenly I was enlightened that dance, was way beyond what was just physical and mechanical. We've been great friends ever since!
Critic 4: Kai Loon
My very first epic musical, first time having a serious role, first time working with Dama Orchestra. Nerves and anxiety got the best of me. During rehearsals, Kai Loon repeatedly said that I kept looking "lost" on stage, my intentions either unclear or complete blank. Yikes! First production with them, I really really didn't want to screw things up. I tried & I tried, but to no avail... he still repeated I looked lost. Lost? What did that even mean? I wanted to badly to do well and I didn't know what to do about it... I just woke up one morning & cried to hubby. Then I asked for a private rehearsal session with Kai Loon, I wrote down my sub-texts for every single phrase spoken while I was on stage. Went through each and every scene with him. Finally, progress. Yippee! After every nights performance, he would email us his super long and detailed director's notes in the wee hours of the morning. I keep refreshing my gmail... refresh, refresh, until I fell asleep. First thing I do when my phone alarm-clock goes off in the morning, refresh gmail! Everyday, each performance, I dread to see in my email "Lady Liu looks lost"... but opening night, don't have, 2nd show, don't have, 5th show, none, 10th show, still none, 20th, none, none, none. Yayyy!!!!!
God know I still have more stuff to work on... am definitely not gonna publish them here on a public blog. :p Well, God sends help in the form of other people to slap me into realization. Sometimes I just can't see these things myself & need people in my life to be my third-eye.
This song below is dedicated to all you people in my life ♫ ♬ "who has helped me most to grow, ♫ because I knew you, ♩ I have been changed... for good"♬ ♩.
I am eternally grateful to you... I love you guys!! Hugz! =)
Back in high-school, I sang in an a-capella group. First we were Karla Ryka, then Dejavu, then As If, then Citadel... yeah, we were indecisive. :-p We used to sing together in class after school & sometimes get "caught" by teachers or prefects thinking we brought a radio to class. On some Saturday mornings, we'd walk to school while singing, building our singing stamina. We sang in inter-school talent competitions and we made it for Asia Bagus once too. Those were the days.
1995 - Sri Garden Talentshow
17 years later... we had our reunion performance at our group member, Kim's wedding. Congratulations to Kim and Kelvin!!! A very beautiful personalized wedding... with a dedication from the bride to her groom. Romantic, kan? :-)
I suppose I could do the shortcut by using the FB 2012 review thingy, but there is definitely more personal touch in my own story of 2012. (more accurate too... FB 2012 review shows that I got married this year when I did that almost 4 years ago :p)
One word to sum up 2012?? AMAZING!!!
It was the year I swallowed my pride, took the risk, and took that leap of faith to take a long break after 10 years of life in the corporate world. No work? No money? *gasp* What did I do for food? Car loan? House loan? What did I do with all that extra time?? Let's see:
2. March: My Bangkok mission to source for clothes suppliers may have failed miserably but I had an artsy trip instead and my first awesome experience Dining in the Dark.
3. April: Auditioned for Everworld, the Musical which sparked my brand new spiritual journey in SIBKL for 2012.
4. May: My first vacation with my mom!! Due to time constraints, normally my sis is the one who brings her for vacations.
5. June - July: My first trip to the USA with my sis, to visit my bestfriend of almost 20 years, aka Sui Poh! & my first taste of Broadway, New York!!!
6. Aug: My first ever dance gig, with awesome dancers Kerry-Ann & Megan.
7. Aug: My first time acting for TV, as an extra in Small Mission Enterprise, NTV7. That episode was only aired on 27th Dec. Awkward seeing myself on TV, perhaps I will stick to live theatre... hehehe.
8. Sept: Wrote and composed my first ever musical together with hubby. And our piece won big time!!
9. Oct: My first ever (hopefully not the last) musical with Dama Orchestra, Empress Wu the Musical!! Such an awesome bunch of people to work with.
10. Nov: Work for a non-profit organisation, StART... an art school for underprivileged children. Working for a good cause is truly and amazing experience.
11. Dec: Everworld, The Musical! The most epic production I have ever done for Christmas... with a memorable journey of lots of learnings along the way.
I thank God for all the doors He has opened for me this year, I thank God for providing for me through my broke-ness of this sabbatical and thank Him even more so, for the people He has brought to my life: my hubby, my family, old friends, new friends, journey-mates and everyone that was part of this amazing journey of 2012!!!
As we are approaching the finale of the Everworld journey, I am beginning to feel the post-production syndrome... a tad early but that sad feeling of love-and-lost has begun. Tears well up in my eyes just thinking about 26th Dec when it's all over. :-(...
I reflect back on all the productions I have ever been in. ALWAYS without fail, I get that post-production syndrome, missing the people, missing the journey, missing the entire emotional attachment to the production. Were any of the productions perfect? The people, the process, the resources, the everything... was any of it so perfectly flawless that we miss being in that perfect team, perfect job, perfect atmosphere?
Nope! Far from it. There are always things that you love and things that frustrates you to the bone in every single journey. Every single journey has its ups and downs. Yet we do it again & again & love it!
What makes a theatre production different from a corporate project? Why then don't we miss our corporate projects, processes and colleagues so much that we get all emotional and tearry-eyed when a project ends? They are all projects right? They involve living breathing human beings, right? They all involve a journey right?
There are probably more but I have zoomed down to just 2 distinctive differences:
One - Purpose
In corporate, the people involved in each project have their own goals. They are using the project as a stepping stone to reach those goals. Very rarely does a person's own goals matches the organization's fancy schmancy vision.
In a theatre production, everyone just wants to put on a good show. 1 lousy actor or 1 lousy sound engineer can ruin the entire show causing bad ticket sales, bad reviews, oh the humiliation! So, people help each other to ensure they achieve their "selfish" goals of putting on a good show.
Two - Passion
In corporate, some of the people are doing it in exchange for something (money, status, sense of stability, etc). Of course there are some who are truly passionate about the cause or the work but the majority are there because they are exchanging their time and efforts for something. They more miserable they feel about their job, the more they feel "entitled" to more rewards. It's about the rewards, not the work or the cause itself.
In theatre, there is no money, no fame, nothing else to gain but to put on a show. You don't get billboards in your name or appear on a silver screen. You do theatre because, well... you love doing theatre. The doing itself IS the reward.
But of course in all cases there are an exception or two but the team's vibe is driven by the majority.
I'm just using theatre because I am a theatre-pratitioner but I am sure there are other examples out there with that common passion and purpose such as working for an NGO or professional sports or an orchestra or so forth. But wouldn't it be wonderful to find a company with a bunch of people with that common passion and purpose?? Where people love what they do or love the cause behind it. I'm still looking... Let's see how it goes. :-)
