Seeking help in high places

I’m a very practical person by nature. Too practical sometimes, that I forget to use my birthright as a child of God and seek His help. Seeking Him has always been the last resort instead of the first. My rationale? God gave me a brain, a pretty good one too. So, it is my responsibility to put His gift to me to good use right?

However, I have come to realize that not everything can be solved by our humanly capabilities. There are several things in my life or in the lives of the people around me which I have been trying to change, or fix. I have tried my best humanly way possible to help make these changes possible. But, none of the 3 changes have come to pass, my strength and patience is wearing thin. And I don’t know how long can my heart hold up.

It is probably not within my power to change these 3 things. Therefore, I shall seek a higher Power for this. I really do not know what else I can do now. So from tomorrow onwards, I shall fast and pray for a week for these 3 things and on top of that, pray for my own faith and trust that they will happen, for my patience to wait for it to happen, and for emotional strength to follow through with this.

Let God’s will be done...

Eh wau buleh, eh wau buleh

Yup! I am in Kota Bahru once more. Just flew in yesterday evening. Not that pleasant a flight though… delayed, a bit turbulent and I got the back seat right at the very last row! I will definitely go back and make some noise to our company’s travel agent.


Also, there is no 8tv here!! So I have missed last night episode of Desperate Housewives!! Boo hoo hoo!!

The room here’s quite nice too. But didn’t sleep well last night. Never did like sleeping alone.

Food, yucks! Sweet and funny tasting as usual. I really can’t understand how they can incorporate sweet and citrusy taste in a beef bacon sandwich!!!

I’ve finished work for today and it is super boring here in KB. Nothing much to do and no one I know either. So, what’s my bestfriend whenever I travel alone?


Yeah, my regular purchase at KLIA are these women’s mags.
Only going home on Fri evening flight. Sigh! 2 more days in this boring town.

One of the 999,999

On Friday, I took a day off work to go for the One in a Million audition in Berjaya Times Square. Went with my bf and my sister. We were there super early at about 8am. From my experience of auditioning for Malaysian Idol the past 2 years, I'd rather be early than late as the crowd was ridiculous.

Surprisingly, there was no one there at 8am but us. We were well prepared! Not with our performance but with breakfast! Then gradually people began to come. We were one of the first few in line. We made friends with one girl who is from the music industry. She sings for theatre and stuff. She has an incredible and amazing voice that really wowed us! The other early bird was a ballet teacher. Oh wow! What talents! And I am but a mere karaoke and shower singer...

After registration, all of us waited in the hall.

Take me out to the ball game... eh no, it's just a TMNET ad gimmick

My sis and I

Even until then, I could not decide between the 2 songs I've shortlisted for my audition. Torn between All That Jazz and Menghitung Hari. Then we were finally brought upstairs to the auditioning room. I was in 1st group of 10, my sis in the 2nd 10 and my bf in the 3rd 10.

The fella briefing us for the audition told us all to sing two songs. Yikes! Two songs? Oh well, saves me from deciding which to sing anyway. I was the first to go in. I sang All That Jazz first. Didn't think it was all that impressive. I only had one day to prepare. Been too busy with work lately. Then I sang Menghitung Hari while playing the keyboard. My playing was crappy because I had only practised the song twice... just thought I'd position myself as the musician singer mah. Alas! The judeges were impressed and asked what did I do for a living and if I was a seasoned performer. Chewah! Ada chan la aku!

True enough, when we got to the result room, I was chosen to go for the next round!!! YAHOOOOOO!!!! I get to see the celebrity judges!

Oh, the waiting room for those who got through was terrible.

You can feel the tension in the room

When it was my turn to sing to Paul Moss and Syafinaz Selamat I was super duper nervous. I sang Menghitung Hari only with the crappy keyboard accompaniment.

Syafinaz: Oh, no. You look like you're not comfortable singing (shaking her head)

Me: Oh, actually I am a lot more comfortable singing than playing this...(pointing at keyboard)

Paul: I thought she sang quite effortlessly. I quite enjoyed it.

Syafinaz: No, no... you change registers very obviously.

Me: ??????? (but still smiling at her) Don't worry, I'll take your comments constructively.

Paul: But I want someone who can play the keyboard on the show! Ok, girl... you can sing, but your piano playing was terrible.

Me: Yeah I know (weird smirk) I just needed the key.

Paul: Ok, why not you try singing another song, without the piano, then we'll decide.

Me: ????? (brain blank) er, er...

~uncomfortable silence~

Me: Ok, I'll sing something by Kelly Rowland (I didn't name the title because I just couldn't think of what the song was)

Me: lalalalala....(singing I'm Beginning to See the Light)

Paul and Syafinaz looked at each other, shook their heads in unison.

Me: (alamak! gone case la)

Paul: Sorry, not good enough.

Me: Ok, thanx.

And I walked out the door with mixed feelings. Disappointed not be able to perform on stage on national TV yet quite relieved that I can't make it to be a big star. Coz I love my day job and I wouldn't want to be torn between the two. Singing and music shall remain my passion for leisure time.

But that doesn't mean I won't try again next year!!! Look out Malaysia! I will practise more and be more well-prepared next year!!

Tender love

When your children are hurt or wounded…
Wouldn’t you rush to give them some tender loving care?

Or would you show them your own wounds to compare and tell them you’ve had worse?

If you promise them to show up for their recital at school, but you couldn't make it because of things beyond your control…
Would you apologize profusely because you feel bad that you’ve broken a promise and let them down?

Or would you tell them you cannot help it because the causes were beyond your control?

When they tell you that it is embarrassing when you pinch their adorable cheeks in front of their friends…
Would you apologize, make it up to them and promise never do it again?

Or would you tell them that they embarrass you in front of your friends too?

Because of your love for them, it is not about trying to even the scores.
Because of your love for them, it is not about whose fault it is that made them unhappy.
Because of your love for them, it is about doing your best to make them happy,
which in turn make you happy…
Because you love them so much.
But wouldn't life be most perfect, if they loved you as much too?

What if they didn't love you the way you love them?
What if your love is not returned?
Would you still continue loving them regardless?
Hoping everyday that they will soon learn how to love you back?

Or will you give up hope and stop loving them one day?

Look ma, no ears!!

Who am I referring to? Pushy salespeople with no EARS!! Two Prudential insurance agents came to my office this morning. Normally when someone presses the doorbell of our office, we’d ask them who they were first. Unfortunately, my colleague happily let them in before even asking who they were looking for. Since I was sitting closest to the entrance, I became prey #1.

At first they just said that they needed 5 minutes of my time to just fill out a survey form. I thought ok, why not help these nice people get their job done? Alas! Their 5 minute survey dragged on even when I stopped them. She went on and on about the benefits of her insurance policy even when I told them I’m not interested, I’m just helping them out by doing the survey. But she was super duper persistent, she wouldn’t go away. Won’t budge but went on and on about her policy and how it would be of benefit me in times of need.

I told her that I already know all about that policy. She just wouldn’t listen to me, she just wanted to talk. It doesn’t matter what the customers’ needs are, doesn’t matter what the customers’ wants are, doesn’t matter what the customers feedback to her. All she cares about is to talk on and on about the policy. Does she really think by doing that, there would be a ghost of a chance she would be able to close a sale? She’s lucky I didn’t chase her out with a broom!!

My previous encounters include one at the Ogawa shop. My parents wanted a massage chair so I decided to go and check out what models are available and their costs. I told a petite little salesgirl I am interested in massage chairs. She kept pushing me to buy a blood pressure monitor. Then I kept insisting I’d like to know more about the chairs. She finally led me to one of the chairs on display there. I asked her how many models are there and what are the differences in features/function and cost. She just said that that particular chair is the best seller and she refused to show me the rest! Then she kept asking me to try the eye-massager. I told her I wasn’t interested. She was so pushy she even pulled the massager over my head and insisted I tried it. That was the final straw, I took it off, told her “No!!” and walked off.

Have you ever experienced walking in a mall and being approached by a perfume salesperson? I have, countless times. It usually goes something like this:
Salesperson: Hi miss, would you like to try this new perfume?
Me: Sure!
Salesperson: (After spraying the perfume on my wrist) We are now having a promotion. If you purchase 30ml you will get this miniature free. If you purchase the 50ml you will get this bag free. If you purchase above RM300 you can get this 7 piece skincare set... yada yada yada...
Me: ??????????

What happened to the simplest fundamentals of asking me if I liked the scent? If I don’t like the scent, do you think all that marketing gimmicks would be of any interest to me? I remember during my own perfume-selling days I was trained by the company on how to approach potential customers and what to say although I was just a part-timer. Don't these people go through training?

I wonder what happened to customer-facing service people who actually listen to the customers before offering anything????

Balik kampung... wooooh balik kampung

I just got back from my "original" hometown, Penang. I was born there but only stayed there 1 year before my family moved in search of greener pastures.

Had to rush off from Easter service early because I had to catch a flight to Penang :-( All because the 7th-day Adventists' Sabbath is on Saturday, they work on Sundays... and my presentation was in their hospital so I had to work on a Sunday too. Too bad for me loh. Oh well, the talk turned out pretty good! The audience was nice, majority were really old folks. I was so worried I'd end up having to give the talk in Hokkien but wa lau eh! Their English manyak powerful leh! Not only they had pretty interesting questions to ask me after my talk, they could answer the quiz I set for them! Wow!!

After that, I went for a shoulder and back massage at a reflexology centre that bf brought my to several times. Pretty good, especially since my my neck and back still hurts a bit from "silap bantal".

What's a trip to Penang without stopping for some of these?
yummy Nasi Kandar at Kassim Mustafa!
Super light and crispy papadam!
I took 2 types of meat and 1 type of vege and it only came up to RM5!! Good ole Penangites who really know value for money!

Then it was back to d big ole empty room at Gurney Hotel. Sometimes I wish I don't have to travel alone so often. You'd feel kinda lonely. And next week I have to go to Kota Bahru pulak, worse...
big ole empty bed
big ole empty room
No one to share the big room with, no one to share d yummy nasi kandar with either. All my friends from Penang have moved away in search of greener pastures like my parents long time ago. So I just spent the evening eating roast chicken wings I ta pau from some hawker along Gurney Drive and watching TV. Thankfully, my newest cheer-me-up song kept coming on: Corinne Bailey Rae's "Put Your Records On". Don't you think that's such a nice cheer-up song? If I had driven to Penang, I definitely stay with my grandma instead. Her house is too far away for me to go to the hospitals when I don't have a car though.

Taxis in Penang? Unpredictable and they do NOT go by meters! Some do not even have receipts to give out. Sheesh! Now I know how lucky we are in KL.

The next day, after working in GH I took a cab down to Bangkok Lane for my favourite Mi Goreng. Ooooh!!! Yum! I was soooooo looking forward to when when I saw this!!
Argh!!! NOOOOOO!!!!
It was closed! So I went for another round of Nasi Kandar. Had the Nasi Tomato this time. I know that mount of rice and lauk is probably a gazillion calories but it's well worth it! I don't know why I can always clean up a whole big plate of rice at Indian stalls when I can't eat even half that amount of rice at Chinese stalls.
I'm so full!

Next stop was the airport... home sweet home!!

Death & beyond...

I know this is a gloomy and scary topic to blog about. But my homegroup watched a documentary on near death experiences yesterday night, out-of-body experiences and both heavenly and hellish experiences. I thought it was a very interesting video. It really makes you think, about your life, about your salvation and definitely about God. Those who had hellish experiences completely transformed their lives and lived lives that glorified God after that.

Is my life God glorifying? I do love Him and try my best to do things that would make Him happy. But I still have many humanly flaws and still do things that I know would make Him unhappy; some of the ways of this world that I have yet manage to leave behind even after accepting Christ. I love my family and my bf too, but I too do/say things that hurt them sometimes. After which I’d apologize and things would be ok again. Just as I ask God for forgiveness after every wrong I do. But how many times can I do that? Am I testing His patience? Testing His love? Or maybe I just cannot understand how unconditional and perfect His love is?

Guess all I can do now is keep on trying to resist the temptations to give in to the ways of this world before it’s too late. What awaits me after death? Only God knows...

Fat is in the eye of the beholder

The other day at gym, a girl told me that I’ve lost a lot of weight over the past few months. Then she went on to say that she saw pictures of me a few years ago and said that I was so fat then but have since gotten so thin now. No wonder another girl came up to me some time ago and asked me if i was very fat before and what was my weight loss secret. Now I know the source of that rumour spreading around. I know she meant well, it was probably a compliment as losing weight has become synonymous with looking good nowadays.

But hmm, fat? Very fat? I never thought of myself as ever being fat. Yes, fatter than now but definitely not fat. Was I really fat?

What do you think? This was in the beginning of 2003, before I dated shades, before I even knew what Fitness First and GX are.

I haven’t been trying to lose any weight. I go to gym to maintain a healthy lifestyle, to have fun, to see my bf more often and to socialize with my gym-going friends! I thought my previous weight was fine, it was well within the perfect BMI range. I have been weighing myself all this while and I really haven’t been losing much if any weight these past few months. But then again, I see myself everyday therefore a slow and gradual lost would be totally unnoticeable to me. I am sure I have lost some due to the increase in energy output, it is only logical in the science of energy balance.

I truly wonder what’s up with the world today. The definition of fat just became thinner and thinner. No wonder cases of Anorexia and Bulimia are on the rise in the quest of a “beautiful figure”. The definition of a “beautiful figure” is moving closer and closer to malnutrition.
peggy lee 1940s
marilyn monroe 1950s
madonna 1985
kate moss 1995
paris hilton 2005
2020???
Urgh! I've never been much of a trend follower anyway so I think I’d better start increasing my energy input to balance things out before I catch up with the trend a “beautiful figure”!!!

Am I one in a million?

Really... am I? We'll know next weekend! What's on next weekend?


I'll be going for the audition on Saturday the 22nd April in Times Square with my bestfriend, Joyce and my high-school friend, Vince. Hah! This is gonna be like the Malaysian Idol thingy we went for last year and last-last year! Whether we get in or not, it is gonna be tonnes of fun! This competition is a bit different from the Idols as you are allowed to show off more than just your singing talent. Therefore, I will have to start practising piano. Then I can attempt to be the next Alicia Keys or Norah Jones! ;-) No lah, I am not as good as them but I'll try my very best! Vince said that he'll be bringing his guitar along.

It is always so much more fun when you go in a group. From my experiences, waiting time can be a killer, physically and emotionally. So, when you go with your friends, it's like a fun outing with friends of the same interests. Oh, the best part is almost everyone there is only about 18-20 years old and they actually think that we are their age! Does wonders for your self esteem. Anyone else interested to come with us? Please do join us!

Broadband has landed!

Woo hoo!! I finally have broadband at home!! I can work from home! I am actually blogging at home!! WOOOO HOOOO!!! Once again, I am connected to the world!! :-)

Minggu puasa

It's prayer week at RCKL this week so we are all encouraged to fast and pray together. Did you know that there are 3 types of fast?
1. fast one particular thing.
2. fast solid food, but can drink.
3. fast totally like the Muslims in bulan Ramadhan.

I have chosen the easiest of all, no 1. I have been off coffee since last Sunday and I'm missing it terribly. All the coffee commercials on the radio and billboards didn't really help me either.
yummy yummy...

Oh well, it's only till this Saturday. That shouldn't be too hard right? Oh, and because I have been down with a flu and a neck-lock this week... turns out I was off GX and gym too. THAT, I miss even more than my coffee. Argh!!!

Sick again :-(

Sigh! I dunno what's wrong with me but it seems that I've been getting sick pretty often this year. Maybe it's because of my role change at work from sales to marketing. In sales, I hang around hospitals and ICU's a lot more often. Probably had a better immune system then. Now my bug-exposure is limited. Sheeesh! Maybe I should go back to sales?

Or maybe it's d new anti-oxidant supplement I am taking which is not as effective as my previous one? Maybe I should switch back to the old anti-oxidant? But I was too kiasu, I bought an awfully big bottle because it was such a good deal. Now I gotta finish it up first.

280 tablets!!! When will it finish????

I have decided to stop taking this supplement for the time being and self-prescribe something else to take care of this terrible flu (hopefully it did not come from any birdies).


my usual flu medication, I hate antibiotics

This is just ammunition, my body will do the rest to battle the viruses!!

Aside from the flu, I woke up with one of those neck-lock pain. So, since Monday morning, I couldn't turn or move my head without the sharp pain in the back and neck! This one, I do not know how to self medicate therefore I saw a doctor yesterday.

some painkillers, muscle-relaxants & muscle rub

I hope it gets better soon. Ouch!

Choi Kin

Goodbye sounds a lot more depressing than it's Chinese version "Choi Kin" which means see you again. So, since resignation from a company does not mean you stop seeing colleagues who have become close friend... it's more like a "choi kin" than a goodbye. Zen is a very close friend of both my bf and I when we were in all working in the same company. So, when my bf resigned, she was sooooo sweet to buy a very pretty chocolate cake as a "choi kin" gift!



Not only did it look good, but it was extremely yummy too! Light, moist and chocolatey. Zen and I had some but bf finished almost d whole cake!
It's been a while since I've met up with her too, if there's one thing I miss about my old company, it's definitely the people! It was nice to see her again. I may even be going on a vacation with her family this year. So, we'll definitely choi kin! :-)

Mel's annual affair

I'm back with the bunnies today!! ...that's why I have access to the internet.

Anyway, Melodie's annual affair is her vaccination. Last Saturday, I finally brought her to the vet. This time I decided to drive further and not go to the nearby vet. So I brought her back to her old vet in Cheras.

The doctor was really nice. He said Melodie was in the pink of health! Told him about my difficulty of bringing her in a car and he even suggested I buy the drug at the clinic and get my vet friend to do the injection for Mel. See what I mean? There ARE doctors out there who cares more about the animals than making money! The injection went smooth... Mel didn't even feel a thing! Here we go!














On the way home, she was a good little girl all the way. I bet it was a relief for her to finally reach home.

Aaahhh, grass sweet grass


Home sweet home!